Would you keep the baby if you got raped?

[GalaxyHotChoc]

This is just a general question, curious to know if you got raped, and got pregnant would you keep the child, abort or put up for adoption?

[kambo_trick3y]

Tough question.

I'm going to get a lot of downvotes because I'm not a woman and I'll never understand what it is like to have this happen, but I have to stand up for what I believe in.

Even if my girlfriend/wife was raped by another man, even if she NEVER wanted to see me or the baby ever again, if it allows the baby to live, I would spend the rest of my life raising him/her because it's the right thing to do.

I get that everyday that baby would remind you of the pain you went through, but at the end of the day, HE/SHE (I mean the baby) is NOT responsible for your hurt. He is a PRODUCT of your hurt, but they didn't inflict that pain on you, their monster of a father did. And they deserve a chance at life.

That's like getting punched by someone, and then because you got punched by them, you decide to punch someone else. Inflicting pain on another person just because the first guy was an asshole is wrong. If anything, punch the first guy, because they are the ones that deserve it, not the second person.

[GalaxyHotChoc]

That's a good answer. Upvote👍

[wölfin-fräulein]

a child needs a mother. and a mother needs to feel attached to her child. some women find that feeling with the hormonal changes through pregnancy for a child that is the product of rape. but it doesn't apply to many women. This mind-body harmony is most important. hormones work to make that harmony in any situation. but only the trauma caused by the rape may never let that harmony take place in the mind of a woman who was raped. and with having the child what you do is to put the woman into an unnecessary pain and very likely to have a child without a mother, or a good mother.

[kambo_trick3y]

@wölfin-fräulein Then go, leave. If you can't find your harmony, I'll take care of it.

[wölfin-fräulein]

why do you want a woman to go through the emotional pressure of pregnancy? pregnancy changes hormones, in an unstable mental state it can mess up the mind of a woman with mixed feelings and confusion. and that is apart from the physical pain. you are talking as though the woman gives birth and it is nothing. when a woman gives birth she develops feelings, when she was through trauma and is not mentally stable in that period she may lose all her mental balance. it is about her not only the child. child is attached to her. it can make a very hard confused situation for both mother and the child. it is harder and very more complex to be taken so simply.

[wölfin-fräulein]

though I am not aiming to argue. I didn't downvote either. but do not take it very simple.

[kambo_trick3y]

@wölfin-fräulein For the sake of another life, I'm willing to put up with that complexity. I'm willing to do what it takes because at the end of the day, I know deep down that I would want to live, and that no matter my origins, for good or bad, I should at least have the CHANCE to carve my own path in life. And because I believe in it, I should give that very same respect and right to another person. I cannot, and I WILL NOT, allow someone else to suffer at the end of the day because of my own emotional weakness. The child will have a mother, it just won't be their biological one.

[LauraMarx]

a pridictably ridiculous answer.

[kambo_trick3y]

@LauraMarx And why is that? What's ridiculous about someone who is willing to put in the sacrifice, action, and commitment to raise a child? Some of us walk our walk you know, not just talk our talk.

[wölfin-fräulein]

I do agree that it is a beautiful work to keep a life than to carelessly lose it. but I think it is better to aim that towards many unnecessary abortion cases taking place in most normal pregnancies. this rather ideal mentality for this kind of pregnancy has many errors and can make many troubles that making them can put many in pain for a lifetime. when you are aiming at these kinds consider the situation more carefully.

[wölfin-fräulein]

though I do not say the ideal is 'not' beautiful. it is just too ideal for especially this kind of pregnancy.

[kambo_trick3y]

@wölfin-fräulein Some people aren't strong enough to live the ideal life that they want to see int he world, especially when terrible things happen to them. I'm strong, and I know I am. So I'll carry her load and my own if need be. I don't know what much else there is to say. And I know you think I haven't examined this situation thoroughly, but I have. I'll be the first to admit that accepting abortion would be so much easier. I don't WANT to spend thousands of dollars on a baby. I don't WANT to wake up at dead 4 A. M in the morning cause the baby is crying. I don't WANT to have to look him in the eye and tell him he's a product of a terrible man. I don't just make that choice like I choose my clothes you know.

[kambo_trick3y]

@wölfin-fräulein By the way, I don't want to give the impression that I'm not taking the woman into account. Being there, seeing the babies birth, holding them in your hands and seeing what SHOULD be a miracle, is essentially a living curse, it must be soul wrenching. But still, I stand by my answer.

[wölfin-fräulein]

"Some people aren't strong enough to live the ideal life that they want to see int he world, especially when terrible things happen to them." no. being strong and have strong urge for survival is good. but many times it goes to the exact opposite point of the real ideal. I said it is an ideal to keep the child rather than lose it. but that itself is in an flawed situation. that ideal is relative. the real ideal is when there is no such situation. When all is done by choice. and here when we do abortion we actually are seeking an ideal situation for both mother and the child. a situation in which we do not have to face the unnecessary extreme negativity that has been caused. not waking up early and changing a baby or spending money. But the emotional confusions that can lead to aggression of a mother towards her child in the future, that can lead to many further negativity for the mother, for the child, and for a family.

[wölfin-fräulein]

again I say, differentiate between normal pregnancy abortion and rape pregnancy abortion. It is much different.

[kambo_trick3y]

@wölfin-fräulein This is where we differ. You see not having to live a life of changing the baby, living a life that can potentially lead to aggression, just cutting all ties to any potential hurt, as the most ideal life (at least the ideal and the best we can do given the horrible situation and the choices that were forced upon us). I don't. I see it at running away. Pushing our pain and aggression onto someone that, at the end of the day, is every bit a victim of the rape as the mother is (even MORE so actually, they can't change their genes, they're stuck with knowing half of their DNA came from a monster). But it should be THEIR decision to live their life and decide whether or not to make that choice if they want to either become the very same monster their father was, or rise above it and do something greater with their lives.

[wölfin-fräulein]

@kambo_trick3y abortion is aggressive. if one says it is not it is a lie. but it is nothing nearly as aggressive as inflicting damage to an already born child. as inflicting emotional damage to a child during his or her childhood making a lifetime 50-70 years of pain for him and inflicting and causing the emotional damage and confusion for the mother and the family. and all these happens when those could be avoided and began in a better time which would not make any of these for another child the mother and family. In the end, you may have your beliefs. you are a man I guess it is too easy for you to say. but I will not have a child from a man whom I wasn’t connected to. I will not make an everlasting pain for myself and a child. And I do not want to develop feeling for that child and confuse myself. I care about the child. I may mourn for him for days after abortion, but I will abort. I will abort to avoid mourning a lifetime years instead of days.

[wölfin-fräulein]

Why do you think in the lower classes of the society there are much more aggressive mothers less feelings and bound between the individuals more aggression inside families? Read “Finding Me: A Decade of Darkness, a Life Reclaimed” by Michele knight the woman who was kept and raped for 10 years along with two other woman. Read about her life. Her child, her mother, her family. She was raped as a child. And when she says I would keep those children by that man it is because it was something she grew up seeing happening. And I have seen multiple videos of her she is not really in the best state mentally. In those classes if you look most of the cases of rape also happens. Most of the rape pregnancies happens. And many of them do not have enough money to even abort. And you can see the average level of aggression, affection, and mental health between them. I said, you are taking this far too simple.

[wölfin-fräulein]

I would never risk the health of my family because of a rape. it is not about me it is not only about the child a rape case is about the whole family. If you want to make all of those continuous traumas for the woman all of the negativity for the child and the risk for the family, it is your choice. and there Is nothing I like more than children and working with children. Nobody can really call me or any of these girls who tell they abort heartless for this act. Because the feeling we feel many cannot understand. another fear after fear after fear. because someone forced us to intercourse and our body has the ability to become impregnated. It became impregnated and now the negativity continues and be transferred to another and another for a lifetime. I said, I will mourn for the child because he was from my body. But I will abort. and I said all these for abortion in rape pregnancy specifically, not in favour of abortion.

[kambo_trick3y]

@wölfin-fräulein That much we can agree on. At the end of the day, you do have your beliefs, and I have mine. I won't pretend like I can magically understand what it's like to be a woman or that I understand what it would be like to go through this, I mean I can't, I literally, biologically, can't do it. It's a physical impossibility. The only closest thing I can do is imagine myself in the child's shoes, and I don't know about you, but I would want to live. I would want my chance. And I, as a man, am willing to put that chance above myself. And that's the best I can genuinely do from where I am standing and with the male genetics I was born with. I think we pretty much stated both our points, yes?

[kambo_trick3y]

@wölfin-fräulein I don't blame women for wanting to abort by the way. I'm just talking for me, personally. If I was faced with the situation and for some legal reason, the choice was given to me about what to do with the baby. I'm financially secure, and I have a loving and supporting family. We would do our best, for what that would be worth.

[wölfin-fräulein]

yes. but your belief is standing on a rather simplified and unrealistic basis. though I respect your view. I only said the missing points. and that you have to think more carefully about subjects such as rape pregnancy. it is complex and can cause long term issues. that is all. have a good time by the way.

[evenlift]

If I were a woman, I would abort any unplanned pregnancy, especially one resulting from rape.

Having a child unplanned would be self-destructive, and it would be especially self-destructive to have a child conceived through rape.

[evenlift]

That said, if I were a woman, I would be using contraceptive pills constantly. And, considering that I unfailingly take my vitamins, I think it's extremely unlikely that I would fail in taking contraceptive pills and become pregnant.

[GingerBiscuits]

No hormonal contraceptive is 100% even with down to the minute daily accuracy.

[evenlift]

@GingerBiscuits Of course it's not 100%. The pill has a 0.3% failure rate in the first year of use with perfect use. And, based on my experience of taking other pills, I am confident in saying that I would be engaging in perfect use. 0.3% is, I think it's fair to say, a very low chance of pregnancy.

[GingerBiscuits]

I am one of the women hormonal bc failed on & does not work correctly for. I know many others as well. Relying on it will not save you all the time. No pill or appliance in actual use is 99% accurate. That's a smoke bomb blown up people's rears to make them feel good.

[evenlift]

@GingerBiscuits Well, scientific studies say otherwise.

[xPoison]

Honestly I would feel so disgusted that I feel I would abort even knowing that the child is not at fault. Holding an unwanted child for 9 months... going through birth pains, the traumatic experience will take ahold of me, and that child would be a daily reminder. I imagine myself depressed like never before. This is my opinion now however God forbid a situation like this happened to me, what decision I would actually take.

I just want to applaud those who have went through such traumatic experience, those who are strong and actually said they were going to raise this child as if nothing ever happened.

[Ki-Ki]

I actually saw a movie where a Christian girl got raped and kept the baby and even started going to prison to visit the attacker.. She was all about forgiveness and even gave dude a bible to read. The whole movie I was thinking there's no way I could handle all that. So I would probably get an abortion. I am aware it's not the child's fault but I wouldn't ever want to resent my child and I don't know for 100% that wouldn't be the case.

[GalaxyHotChoc]

Its that based on a true story?

[GalaxyHotChoc]

**is

[Ki-Ki]

Yes it is it's on Netflix I'm not sure the name but I can look it up if you'd like

[aamy811]

I don't know, it depends on my situation and emotional well being for both me or the baby. If there or problems either physically emotionally or both I would either abort it or give it away. Adoptions a hard option because that doesn't ensure a better life and has a chance at homelessness. It also depends on my financial situation. If I'm fine with raising the baby and could do so successfully then I'd keep the baby

[xHoneyxBeex]

It would be an extremely difficult decision to make but at the end of the day, I think I would terminate the pregnancy. There's no way I could mentally and emotionally heal from the rape if I had a child to be a constant reminder of it.

I also do not think I could be financially stable to raise a child by myself, with no one to help me. I would feel so alone. I also don't feel like the situation would be fair to the child either. Just my personal opinion.

[Stacyzee]

This is a hard question to answer.

Every rape is very different.
Although all traumatic experiences they cannot be grouped as the same.
There are different degrees/levels of the abuse.

Based on the level I faced, would affect whether I could better cope with having a baby by that
monster or not.
Can I live with every day being reminded of this horrible event that took place in my life?

I couldn't answer unless I were in this situation.

[wölfin-fräulein]

abort. I will give birth only to the child of a man I choose as my husband. My body works like a farm. But it is not a land without lord. that everybody plants anything in it and I harvest. I harvest what I want from my farm.

[xPoison]

This is beautifully expressed... in like a poetic fashion :) Although abortion to me is killing, I THINK i would take that route

[GalaxyHotChoc]

I agree!

[wölfin-fräulein]

@xPoison thank you. I am not pro-choice when there is no logical reason to abort a child. but it is a need in certain situations.

[arashmenalagha]

Old Macdonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O.

[GingerBiscuits]

I chose abort. Even tho I don't think its the right or best choice it's the only choice I could come to terms with.

[lumos]

Abort. There's no way in hell I'm giving birth to the child of some sicko rapist.

[Kyndra]

If I was ready to support a baby, I would consider keeping it. I know a guy whose mother was raped and that's how she had him, they love each other very much.

[TheEmma]

No way, I wouldn't even want to keep it inside me. I'd get an abortion.

[GalaxyHotChoc]

Yep same thoughts

[TheEmma]

I dont need the constante reminder of what happened (even if I'd still remember, probably)

[Alcoto12]

Would depend on how developed the embryo was at the time I found out. If it was early enough that a pill would abort it that would be my route though if it was further along I'd put it up for adoption.

[linkywinky]

No, I would abort it.

[srslyly]

Only the rapist would have that option. I probably wouldn't be able to get custody of the child, either, but even if forced to pay support, I would not seek visitation rights.

[srslyly]

Why in the absolute fuck would some fucking bitch girl down vote this? I'm supposed to seek visitation with the child raised by the rapist psycho bitch who's rising her kid to hate me anyway? Goddamnit!

[Your_boss960]

That baby didn't choose to be created.

I would not abort the child

[mutedaisy]

I wouldn't keep it. Odds are I'd stress the fuck out and have a miscarriage.

[BertMacklinFBI]

tough decision. one I definitely can't make.

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

That's tough decision i don't think no baby should die but it is rape
i would say keep the baby and adopt to close relative..

[Solenn]

keep the baby of course

[zombiebabe]

sorry but i would definitely abort

[demonology]

in my opinion, a rapist doesn't deserve a biological child.

[BelleGirl21]

I would give birth to the baby and most likely put it up for adoption. I don't think I could raise the baby.

[JackKerouac77]

Makes me glad I'm not a woman or a rapist. Tough question.

[genericname85]

i´d think of it this way: even if it´s not the babys fault, it´s still got at least 50% rapist genes... also it´s not a human by my definition anyways. i am generally pro choice.