Gave a bj on the first date to a guy I met online. Am I a total whore?

I spend my life working 12 hours a day (petroleum engineer) except on weekends, which i spend doing house work, and relaxing. I haven't had sex in 2 years since my ex boyfriend, and it took a long time to get over him. I haven't dated in 2 years, and I recently met someone I was very very attracted to. As soon as I kissed him, all the rules went out the window and I just wanted to be sexual, badly! Anyways, I gave him a blow job, but didn't actually have sex. He obviously never called me back. Understandably, cause He thinks I am easy and I do that with everyone. But the truth is, I had a lot of sexual tension built up for 2 years, and I finally saw someone I liked and was physically attracted to, and I lost my self control. I just want to know, should I explain this to him so he doesn't think poorly of me? Or should I just accept this as an epic fuck up and move on with my life and try not to let my need for sex overwhelm my judgement? Also, am I a whore? I feel like such a bad person. I have so much to offer a man and I just wish I knew how to show them. Do men really loose all respect for women after any type of sex too soon?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Relax, just because you made one decision that you're not proud of does NOT mean you're a "whore."

    Do you have sex with people for money? No.

    Do you fuck anything that moves? Not from what you've said.

    It's understandable that all that sexual tension would release itself once their was a viable opportunity after so long.

    I would advise you to contact this guy again (if you can), explain that you really like him and then further discuss your relationship situation and that you'd like to get to know him better. You can smooth over the awkwardness with a glaze of "obviously I'm really physically attracted to you, otherwise I wouldn't have given you a blow job last time."

    If the guy is decent, y'all can have a good laugh over it and hopefully start a make out session that brings you closer and takes things a little slower.

    • I agree.

  • Uh if he didn't call you back because he thinks you're easy, then he's a dumbass hypocrite bitch for letting you suck him off before cutting you off. No point explaining anything to that exploitative son of a turd. And I don't get you either, you didn't even get off, learn some priorities and don't do that again.

    And yes you absolutely lose respect when you put out this quick. Sex is power, especially as a woman. Withholding sex is the best thing you can do for yourself if you're actually looking for a relationship.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Quite honestly, he sounds like a jerk. You can do better than him.

    I don't see anything wrong with what you did. You acted in the heat of the moment. It happens. Life would be boring if we never did that. And he obviously liked it too, or else he would have stopped you. If he actually lost respect for you, then he's not only an idiot but also a hypocrite.

    I advise you to contact him and talk to him about how he feels about what happened. Maybe he's cool with everything. And if not, you at least know what kind of person he is and you can get rid of him.

  • You're not a whore. Maybe bad judgement but all you did was give into your feelings that felt right at the time. You're regretting it now so you know that isn't who you really are. He may think of you differently but so what if you're never going to see him again. But if you are interested in him and still want to see him, maybe try to explain your situation and how you ended up doing what you did because it all sounds pretty reasonable to me.

  • No, this doesn't make you a whore. However, I can't really understand how your sexual tension was relieved just by pleasing him as you don't seem to receive anything from this encounter yourself.

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What Girls & Guys Said

9 25
  • you're fine, just don't make it a regular thing because you will give yourself a reputation and that sucks. It's understandable, don't worry :)

  • No don't beat yourself up I understand fully and of course you have so much to offer a man. Nothing wrong at all. Did you have any contact at all after. I suggest you don't mention it and just send a hi txt. Girls do sometimes think sex should lead to a relationship it doesn't Allways. He may of lost your number as simple as that. Don't mention the sexual frustration. Happy to discuss further if you want to message me.

  • You don't have to justify yourself to us, if you like sex then go for it, although if the only thing you want is sex it won't work wonders for a relationship

  • No, but I wouldn't suggest doing that too often.

  • Yes epic fuck up, yes whorish, yes men lose respect in such circumstances. But the good news is if he was really keen that wouldn't have chased him away. But next time maybe try to resist

    • Actually no it's not whorish, because a whore would've got paid

  • Did you actually like the dude? Why don't YOU text HIM? (if you haven't)

    Anyway, no, you're not a whore.

  • Not a whore.

    You didn't have any for a long time, and needed some.
    Many of us get antsy sometimes.
    I'm surprised he hasn't called.
    After all, he let you do it so he is involved too.
    You should contact him, and mention that you have been celibate for a while, and that he turned you on.

  • It's just a blow job, there's no reason to feel bad, but if he didn't return the favor then you don't need to be dating that guy anyway!

  • No, you're not a whore. I don't believe that someone that has sex on the first date, or a one night stand, is a whore. We are humans and we need sex, ones more than others, and if you've been two years without sex, it's totally understandable what you did.

    Call that guy and ask him why he didn't call you back. Tell him what you just told us, he will understand, and if he doesn't, then fuck him, he's not worth you time.

  • that's risky actually

  • I would have called you back, hoping for another bj, I think you did a great job

  • No, no you are not... However, degrading yourself so low is just something I look totally down at. Especially since it's someone you met... ONLINE... O. O

    You don't even love the guy. That's the main thing, love.

    • Do you have to love a guy to blow him?

    • It would make sense and not degrade one's pride further than it needs to in terms of the action.

    • Ok so if giving a blowjob degrades one pride, that means that giving a blowjob is shameful? Is receiving a blowjob shameful? Why is it shameful? How does love make it less shameful?

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  • I don't think you're a whore or a slut or any other of those judgmental words. And I don't think you should beat yourself up over this. You met somebody and engaged in a consensual sexual act. You're an adult. You were craving sexual connection and you had a lot of sexual desire. That's nothing to be ashamed of. As for this guy you met, if he looks down on you for engaging in a sexual act with him then that's his problem. If so he's not very mature and has a huge double standard when it comes to men and women and sexuality. Don't beat yourself up over this.

  • Keep trying in meeting the next person.. Its not the end of the world... Unless your toilet explodes.

  • too soon, you dont even know if he was clean. you aren't a whore but that was very whory of you. learn for next time

  • Did you accept monetary payment for sex? If not, you're not a whore.

  • Does that make you a whore? Of course not. In this day and age the so called "rules" don't really apply in many situations any more. Wait 3 dates, don't call for x amount of time etc, usually for adults that doesn't happen too much anymore. if you have a lot of attraction and you had a good date and gave the guy a bj, that sounds like a really fun date for the guy. I wouldn't assume you were slutty or anything, not even that I think that is slutty, just bc you gave me head on the first date. He should of been able to tell that you liked him and it was because you were into him not just bc you need to have a dick in your mouth or something. If you want to explain it to him feel free, but chances are he might just be a dumbass that didn't call you for a second date, with no relation to the dick sucking.

  • no not exactly. we all have our moments where we just gotta fuck something. now if its like something thats constant then thats another story

    • How do u post pics on question or opinion?

    • @bigbulge - It must be in your first comment, or initial comment if you're asking a Question. Just use the direct image url.

  • not at all and you can't get pregnant giving blow jobs

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