Help, my girlfriend doesn't want an "intimate" relationship with me, is this normal?

We've been dating for 5 months now , we've kissed but that's about it , she says she dosnt want sex until after marriage , she never wants me to eat her out or even touch down there , she won't give me a bj or anything like that , What can I do to change her views , she says that she's never masterbabted too , is this normal?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • some people are very conservative about sex

    I think you should be honest with her and tell her you personally would prefer not to wait and see what she says...

    at least try some masturbation together or oral sex if she doesn't want to have intercourse... try sugesting this to her

    but the sad truth is you may have to leave her if you can't agree with each other about how you see sex.

  • you can't change her views; you respect them, and you leave her alone until she tells you she's ready. do not force or coerce her into it.

    also yes, fairly normal among young or religious women. the decision to wait (or not) is a personal one. and, if you two are divided on this issue, it's likely that your relationship won't work.

  • She might just have a very low sex drive, or even be asexual, or she might have some issues, insecurities or other hang-ups... can't say, since I don't know your girlfriend.

    Whatever you do, though, don't try to coerce or guilt or pressure her into sex. That's bound to end badly for both of you.

  • I used to be like this and I told my boyfriend and he was totally cool with it. He never tried anything that I wasn't comfortable with, this just made me more comfortable with hI'm until I was willing to go all the way with him. I was with him for 7 months before this happened

    • yep sometimes its a matter of wanting the boyfriend too badly to resist lol XD hahaha

    • meaning getting her comfortable with the idea of sex 1st... and letting her come to you about it but maybe you need to ask her if by giving her time she may reconsider... cause some people will just not change their mind even after months together. depends on her values and how strong of a belief she has.

Most Helpful Guys

  • It is not "normal" in the statistical sense; this behavior is the exception and not the rule.

    It is not abnormal for people who strongly adhere to, and try to practice, their religious beliefs. However, some people use religion as an excuse when they are merely afraid/shy/anxious about initiating sexual experiences.

  • It's up to you. You need to make her understand that if married and you aren't getting enough sex you will walk.

    Help, my girlfriend doesn't want an "intimate" relationship with me, is this normal?Help, my girlfriend doesn't want an "intimate" relationship with me, is this normal?

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • get out of there! Either she's not attracted to you anymore but likes your personality anymore or she's asexual.

  • That's perfectly fine. I feel the same. I don't want to have sex with my girlfriend until marriage either.

  • Wait for marriage and you'll both be happy. A priceless relationship. I can't fully help you cause my girlfriend loves to be intimate (cuddling, kissing, holding hands, etc.) But just wait for the marriage, it'll pay off.

  • You can't change the way she is. You can talk to her about it, but if she still says no, respect her views. Maybe she isn't the right one for you to be in a relationship with.

    You guys really should have discussed this BEFORE dating.

  • maybe she's asexual. that's perfectly okay, but if you feel as if you NEED sex in a relationship, you better break up now. you can't change her mind.

  • man the fuck up.

    • if she wants to wait you should respect that, or else break it off and find something else

  • You don't change her views. She sounds like a respectable woman with good sense.

  • Respect what she wants. If that's something you can tolerate then go for it, if not, and you want sex, then go find someone else. Also, if you love her, why not to wait? I didn't mind it before, I dated my ex for 4 years, no sex, but then we broke up for other reasons.

  • She doesn't know how good an orgasm feels yet

  • Religion. You aren't breaking her.

  • She sounds like a witch and should be burned accordingly

  • If you are planning on being with this woman for the rest of your life's then why not wait till marriage? Love between a man and woman is very special. Marriage is sacred, respect her wishes the outcome will be priceless.

  • Yes. She just isn't ready. You can't change her views. She'll come around when she's ready. Trying to force her to do something she isn't comfortable with will only push her away. Plus the relationship is still pretty fresh.