How painful is sex the first time?

[Anonymous]

I’ve never had sex before, but will be soon. I’m nervous bc I’ve never inserted anything in there besides the tip of my finger. It was uncomfortable to even put that much, even though I was pretty wet. Does that mean sex will hurt for me?

My man is really sweet and says he will take his time and not to worry, but I’m still worried he won’t be able to put it in and that if he does it’ll hurt me. I literally get so nervous just thinking about it.

Any tips, suggestions, or experiences will help.

[DizzyDesii]

I Couldnt take more than the tip the first couple of times. It just hurts how the tip is stretching your whole wider. Then once they push halfway in, you feel it opening up your tight tunnel and that hurts too. (Its like how the docs put that arm thingy around your upper arm and they put pressure on it to choke your arm to get your blood pressure. But instead, its his dick pushing back against that and opening the arm thingy instead.) He attempted 3 different days to fit inside of me. On the fourth day, which i think was a different week, i was willing to have sex. The other days i was not and he just used me as his naive little sex doll, kinda forcing himself on me. But yea this time, i willingly gave in. We were in this huge round spinning chair. My legs were over his shoulders and he went really deep. I bled for the first time like 10 mins after we were done and kept bleeding for like 3 days. But it wasn't my period becayse that lasts 7 days. He broke my hymen

[Anonymous]

I’m not going to lie to you, when I lost my virginity it was to a guy that wasn’t big he was on the smaller side. I would say he was about 5 inches long and I could wrap my fingers around him and my fingers meet but It hurt really bad, I did bleed a good bit and that’s normal. It definitely hurts the worse when they first put it in and thankfully he did go very slow like he said he would. I was sore for about 2 days after. It was hard for me to enjoy it because of the pain but after you do it once, it feels so good after that.

Just some extra advice. Please overthink about losing your virginity. Make sure it’s to a person that you care about and he cares about you too because it is something you definitely can't get back. I don’t want anyone to regret losing their virginity, it should be something special I think.

I don’t regret losing my virginity to the guy I did it with. Him and I are still friends 12 years later and he did make it special for me and made sure I was 100% sure on making the decision of losing my virginity for the fact that it was something that I couldn’t get back.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh and he also did a lot of foreplay before losing my virginity that night. He started out by fingering me and then he went down on me which was also my first time for that too. Another thing he can do while having sex for the first time. I remember him rubbing my clit which has always felt amazing and that did take my mind off the pain because I was focusing on how much it felt good to get my clit played with so definitely try that during

[Asker]

I’m losing it to my soon to be husband so no regrets there haha. We’ve talked about it and he said he plans on making sure I’m very relaxed and comfortable. Just still nervous about it the first time for some reason lol. Guess it’s just not knowing what to expect. Thank you for your response 💖

[Opinion Owner]

Try not to worry, I’m sure it will be a good experience for you

[Massageman]

1. Have a warm shower or bath to relax beforehand.
2. Go slowly.
3. Use plenty of (water-soluble) lubrication if your vagina isn't very wet.
4. Go very slowly.
5. Communicate- yes, more, less, slower, faster, harder, softer, etc. (hopefully not "stop")
6. Go very, very slowly.
7. Enjoy plenty of foreplay to get "warmed up", "in the mood", etc.
8. If you tense up, picture yourself on a beach watching the tide come in, and roll out; come in, and roll out; come in and roll out. Breathe IN when the wave you picture comes in, and breathe OUT when that wave recedes, taking away all your tension.
9. Do NOT get drunk. Maybe one glass of wine WITH your food.
10. And did I mention to go slowly?

[JustAHumanHere]

Why would anyone want to imagine a beach rolling into their vagina? I mean if someone told me that I'd instantly get out of the mood, or if they tell me to think of something else during sex.

[Massageman]

@JustAHumanHere I'll take this at face value. It's a mental image to focus on and relax. It is NOT the waves rolling into a vagina. It's a mental image of the individual sitting on the beach would see when watching the tide move in and out. The image is simply to create a restful scene, with the repetitious waves moving in and out to help lull the person into a more relaxed state. And I never said it had to be done during sex.

[HikerDude]

Depends on his size and yours. Some guys are bigger than others, as are some girls. Plus, some girls are naturally hard to break in because they're too nervous at first to get properly aroused. If everything is wrong, sex can be so painful for her that the two of you will just want to call it off.

[Screenwriter]

You might want to try inserting progessively sized dildoes. Use very small ones until they're comfortable and then move up to larger sizes. IT takes time to get used to having sex and getting pleasure from it. The first few times are unpleasant and you're sore.
To avoid this, why don't you and your boyfriend do this prequel work so you'll have pleasurable sex together the first time... It'll take a week or two of using the dildoes every other day or so. Use it, get a little sore. Wait a day or two, use it again. Go to next size. Wish someone had told ME about that. I'd never have had sex the way I did. IT was unpleasant and hurt. No need for that at all.

[CrazyGirl2]

its not painful at all, its more like a stinging. My first time was when I was raped when I was 13, so it was emotionally devastating, and I’m still dealing with the pain, I know I always will to some extent, but even so, physically it wasn’t painful!

[Asker]

Oh no, I’m so sorry that happened to you :((( I hope you find an amazing partner who understands what you’ve been through and helps you to overcome the pain that you feel <3

[CrazyGirl2]

My boyfriend is extremely supportive, and I’m blessed that my parents never ONCE questioned my honesty (the fact that he impregnated me definitely helped, and when the police asked my uncle for a DNA sample to “exclude him” (they asked all adult males who had access to me), he was the only “person” who refused and told them to get a warrant, he was also the only person to get a criminal lawyer! So yeah, as my dad said “it’s hard to believe he did NOT do this, given how guilty he’s acting”! They also got me the best therapy money could buy! Thank you so much for your concern sweetie!

[Asker]

Aww I’m glad to hear you have such a great support system ♥️

[CrazyGirl2]

Thanks, it definitely makes all the difference in the world, especially when going through something like that!

[kingykringy]

Did that affect your sexuality?

[stepje92]

I was afraid too, but the first time I had sex, was with my boyfriend and pretty tipsy (and horny). I'm not saying that you should get drunk per sé, but it's one way to feel relaxed ;) . It did hurt for me, but more like getting-into-an-ice-bath-for-a-sec-hurt. After the first hurdle (s), you'll be fine

[weysally]

first time sex can be good or bad, depending with whom you have it, I was lucky, it was with an older man and we did it in a bath, the position was also important, he on his back, me lowering myself down on him with his hands supporting me no pain

[ChrisMaster69]

Can’t really answer from girls point of view.

As a guy though we can make it less of an issue, make it so you are turned on enough so you don’t clamp up before sex.

Lots of foreplay, don’t be embarrassed about using lube on him and you.

That and get some decent toys and get used to the joys of masturbation and dildo’s.


When the event eventually happens, rather than crying out in pain, grit your teeth and say ‘are you in yet’

Lol

[lilyanony1]

Relax, take your time, if you're too nervous or anxious stop.
You've built it up in your head to be something massive.
It's really not that big a deal if you do it with someone you are completely comfortable with.
When you stress you get tense and that will make you dry and the muscles too tight.
Just stop.
Do the most relaxing sensual things first, a bath together, a massage, maybe just lay together naked first, self pleasure first in turns, the pleasure each other.
Having sex is incredibly exposing and unbelievably personal.
You need to be happy and relaxed as this is your first time.
No pressure x

[Asker]

You’re exactly right, thank youu for your response <3

[lilyanony1]

You're welcome x

[lilyanony1]

-I'd personally just like to add that I'm really surprised by the responses here especially from men. I think some of them are too young to care about another person's feelings/ body. Also there are older men that don't seem able to talk to you like their daughter. I guess that would probably defeat their purpose of being here. Your partner needs to be considerate of your needs but he really does need to just push through it, you know like a band aid. This is where an honest male perspective would have really helped. Understanding their side, their honest feelings when they had their first time (hopefully also with a virgin) I think that would be good to know how they felt, nervous, excited, stressed, scared, where they clumsy, rushed, patient, gentle, rough. Did they feel pain, the break through moment. Is your partner a virgin too? I can't really remember my first time if I'm honest. I think I was OK because I may have broken it from horse riding or gymnastics I dunno. But I didn't experience what other girls said plus, I was ready. I think he did the dip in dip out. Where he pushed a little more each time whilst rubbing the clit. After the mistake of not finding the hole. I remember saying, "not there". Once he was in then it turned to missionary so we could be close and cuddle. And kiss. I could be talking out my ass. But I don't remember much, feels like a lifetime ago. I think I was awkward until we were done, you know like you can be when you do something for the first time I

[lilyanony1]

think it's important to just not have expectations of it being mind blowing, accept the first time as being the prep for the fun later. (maybe the same night maybe the next month who knows) please don't do anal and please don't do anything you're not comfortable with do. Oral could be a good warm up but like dizzy said I wasn't ready for that but for me culturally guys implied it was not good to do. I'd say if there's none of that and you both want to try, try the things that make you happiest, this is going to be your husband you will have a lifetime exploring whatever else you want to try.

[MeghanL]

Everyone is different. For some women it hurts to some degree, others not.

Lubrication helps a lot. Another thing that might help is if you get on top, that way you control the penetration, & if it's too uncomfortable you can back off or go slower.

Congratulations! I wish you & your husband-to-be many happy years together!

[iseekpinetrees]

Pinch ur nipple hardish for three seconds thats about as much as it hurts and as long as it hurts.

[Asker]

Lol really? That’s interesting

[iseekpinetrees]

Yea its not much pain very bearable

[SweetTay]

You will be fine. Just remeber to relax!

[offendedsorbet]

It will probably hurt but the pain doesn't last, just make sure you are really well lubricated, buy some just in case too and put a towel down. Don't panic if it doesn't happen the first time, it took a couple attempts for me.

[blondie1234567]

It will hurt the first few times especially if he has a big cock but honestly just push through it and know that you're in for something amazing later on! Also foreplay helps a lot. Best of luck! Xx

[Asker]

Thank youu

[chrismyasshard]

What if a woman shoves it up my ass and makes me beg for her to jack me off at the same time she is fucking my ass

[FlyGirl95]

Sex is really painful if you are not gentle for a bit of time. It’s good to communicate with your partner and be sure they are listening to your needs. There is no reason why the first time can’t be a nice experience but just listen to your body and say how you feel. Communication is a big part of sex during every stage of life. Best to start early 😁


like all things your body gets used to it and it’s not painful at all.

[FunTastyLady]

It will vary from person to person - for me, I wasn't wet enough the first time... so it took 3-5 times for my vagina to get use to it...

piece of advice - either be very wet or put a shit ton of lube and ask the guy to take his time... there is no rush.

[Apple1996]

It was painful for me the first few times. It got better after about the 3rd time having sex.

[Holisticapproachsara]

Not at all. Probably because i used dildos on myself before and my fingers. So i was used to it. But i came so quickly. I guess being with a guy turned me on so much.

[Asker]

Haha that’s actually cute, I’m excited to be with my soon to be husband as well. Super excited and nervous lol.

[Holisticapproachsara]

Good luck☺️

[Puppystarfish23]

I'm not gonna sugar coat it for you it probably will hurt the first time but every girl is different. I cried the first time from the pain but I still held strong and carried on. Its about the same amount of pain as getting your ears pierced. It's painful but it's tolerable and once he's in it doesn't feel too bad just abit swore and you might feel abit swore the next day too. Also I never bled myself but I've heard it's very common so don't worry if that happens a little.

My best advice is to make sure your doing it with someone you love and trust and will take his time with you and make sure you feel safe and comfortable if not it makes the experience a lot more worst. The first time isn't as horrible as it seems for girls once it's done it's done and if he's a virgin he probably won't last long either and make sure he gives you lots of cuddles after

[zoomzzzz]

That "if he is virgin... " Part is hilarious 😂😂.

[Puppystarfish23]

@zoomzzzz it's ture though

[zoomzzzz]

Not gonna lie it is😅😂

[proNutro]

The answered women have given has made me stress haha🥴

[Asker]

How come?

[Dinklex3]

It hurt for me, lol.
It hurt the first 3/4 times.
Even now, if I refrain from sex for a while it hurts a tad (nowhere near as bad as the first time).
You'll be fine though. The guy I lost my virginity to was super sweet.

[Dinklex3]

Oh yeah. We couldn't get it in the first time, so we had to use lube the second time. That worked 👌

[Jacqp]

I wish i could tell you the first few times are magical. But the reality is it will be a bit uncomfortable the first few times
But i wouldn't call it unbarable pain. More of a throbing kind of uncomfort the first time. But if he is gentle and cares about you and stops when you ask... you will be fine.
Just the tip can feel really good for both of u. Just ease it in.
You can also buy numbing gels and lots of lube at adult stores too.
No stress.. no worries or fears just relax and enjoy him and the moment. I promise you it will be fine.

[Asker]

Thank you! 💕

[nella965]

Here are just a few tips:

You need to make out and do foreplay and he needs to touch you all over in order for you to feel aroused and hot. It must be at least 20 minutes. For the first time, i suggest you do it as long as possible. You will need to be VERY aroused to want to do it. Many guys just like to do foreplay for 5 minutes then start sex. As a result, the sex will be very painful.

Do not let him put his penis all in on the first time entering. Let him finger you. Put one finger in. Let him play with your vagina. Make it loose. Then the next time, let him put two fingers in.

I would not recommend for him to put the entire thing in your vagina the first time as it would be excruciatingly painful unless your foreplay was extremely hot and long.

[Asker]

Good to know! Thank youuu