Is it taboo to bring up an ex’s dick size?

[StormMistress]

Ok so I had a bit of a blunder last night I was with a guy and he was saying how good my pussy feels while inside me. I said it’s great you don’t hurt like some other guys do and he got upset at that. He didn’t say anything but he went silent and finished on a whimper. He told me afterwards he was abit sensitive about his size and me bringing up precious guys stretching me too much that it hurt made him self conscious. I tried to console him saying I don’t mind I actually prefer that a guy isn’t too big cause it can hurt but he didn’t seem to cheer up. :(. Left shortly after and I felt pretty terrible about it.

Probably won’t see him again but I don’t understand why some guys care so much about previous partners dick sizes or skill in bed. Why is it such a bother? It’s not a competition.

[MrOracle]

As a woman, you can generally abuse and insult guys in a million different ways and they will brush it right off with no harm done, but there are a few things you absolutely cannot EVER say, or you will instantly and permanently nuke your relationship.

These things include:

• anything implying his dick is small (or smaller than a previous guy)
• anything that implies that he can't please a woman sexually
• anything that attacks or belittles his ability (or perceived ability) to provide and protect

All of these are direct, nuclear-level attacks on a man's ego and psyche and are usually unrecoverable.

There's no equivalent comparison for women, but the closest I could imagine would be if a woman was struggling to conceive a child and the man called her barren and useless (or something similarly cruel).

[StormMistress]

I’ll keep that in mind for sure. Thankyou lovely.

[TheorionMage]

Physical size only matters in the seal created between him and your vaginal walls; the REST is HIS skills and YOUR vagina's arousal & participation; Nature only considers HIM to be a 'delivery syringe' for HIS seminal fluid, not unlike a male drone bee!

Since MOST modern hook-ups seek to AVOID fertilization in favor of an animated transient pleasuring orgasm... he COULD... if skilled, get you 'off' merely through foreplay as competent Lesbians can. ;)

[Badkitty41]

For guys it's a competition. Basically you said he had a little dick. That's funny but that's fucked to.. but funny. But that's mean.. he'll forever have a complex about his dick. That's what guys base their whole existence from. Everything is thier dick. They have little brains and what brain they do have revolves solely around thier dick. It's not so much that you said what you said cause what he heard was totally different you just assassinate him as a person and his worth. .. i don't know why guys think that's who they are but he'll probably either get depressed and mask it with a big truck or money to compensate what he thinks he lacks.. lol that's definitely one way to never see him again lol

[Mrgoodstuff62]

… did you just say that men have little brains?

[Whatisthatname]

It doesn't help that girls "go to" attack against a guy is "small dick" and that you see it everywhere online nowadays with girls complaining about previous guys who had small dicks. It for sure have been an insecurity among men for a long time, but even worse in today's day and age with internet porn and seeing girls make comments about small dicks and drooling over big ones.

[Badkitty41]

@Whatisthatname no I was never complaining about a small dick and this other chick said to a guy he had a smaller then what she was used to dick.. which I said assassinated his who he was as a man cause everything is based around a man's dick.. basically men do have little thought process most of thoughts revolve around thier junk.. which isn't a bad thing cause if you don't have a good dick you ain't gonna keep a chick long so men should be proud of what they got and its a proven fact men think about sex or some sort of sexual thought 19 or more times in a day.. so yes little area outside the pants they think. As far as porn if any one thinks porn is actually real then they better get some education in the subject cause most all of what's in any porn is fake.. girls and guys genital don't look the way in real life people don't really just come over and dick chicks down and it ain't anything like it's made to look so guys shouldn't have any complex about what's in a porn not to mention of they can doctor a dick or pussy to look a certain way they really should at least make the males attractive because they all look like they been hit in the face by a shovel.. so porn really sucks. I really didn't say little brain I said simple brain little thought process.. i think he sorry

[Whatisthatname]

I didn't say that you said it, but that girls in general use "small dick" as an insult. And you just said "if he ain't got a good dick nobody wants him", did you mean a 4" thin great dick? Since it's so common for girls to buy 4" dildos. And all I meant with porn was that guys compare themselves with what they see. Just like a girl would compare them selves with that thin influencer with big tits and get insecure.

[Genie23]

I'm not a guy but I wouldn't like it if I was a guy and my partners says that... I can understand why he got turned off because he thought you called him small which no guys wants to hear a woman calling his penis that. You hurt his ego and made him feel insecure which I know you didn't mean to because you were trying to compliment but any guy will take it that way. Sometimes not saying something is better than saying something especially when it comes to guys size.

[StormMistress]

Yeah I just feel so bad :(. Can’t even rectify it cause I haven’t seen him since.

[Genie23]

It's okay, hon. We all learn from our mistakes...😅 You, me, everyone really. Give him some time. Wait for a week and leave an apology in a message if you still feel guilty. If I were you though, I'd think If he's that insecure or egoistic that he doesn't even want to talk after someone clearly showed regret, I'd say you're better off without him.

[GallopAcrossEurope]

Yeah, it's very taboo. With how porn appeals to men and how men and some women talk to each other, it's always about "bigger equals better" - most men get used to seeing relatively petite women get thrusted with dicks the size of their arm and think that's normal.

They think to hurt or stretch a woman during sex is normal, and that any woman who had sex with bigger penises is lying about having even better sex with a smaller one - when even porn stars admit to it being true sometimes because the pain doesn't take them out of the moment.

What you gave him, in fact, was a huge compliment. It's his skewed perception of it that really did him in.

[katiesmuff]

Apparently that is one of the faults embedded in the male brain before birth and just can't be unprogrammed. Most never learn that most women don't care.

[EricSummer]

Honest straightforward communication in sex should be fine. You basically made him a compliment. Would he like it better if it hurt for you, only so he can feel like he has the biggest dick? This is terribly immature.

It looks like the lenght of your vagina up to the cervix is too short for some other guy's dicks, but just fine for his. This is perfectly possible and means you are a good match that way. While additional arousal and lubrication will widen the vagina, it does not really make it much deeper, so there is a limit to what feels fine for you.

[OlderAndWiser]

"It’s not a competition." That is your perception but you are a female. Guys don't perceive, tink, or feel the same ways you do. What you said would be roughly the equivalent of me telling a girl that I really like her small boobs.

[Badkitty41]

I myself could care less if I got told I have small boobs that doesn't bother me at all.. Women don't think about thier tits as what makes them who they are

[Badkitty41]

That's not true guys actually do base self worth from their dick.. everything is based on their dick. And that's ok because anymore that's all a guy is good for. So your saying you never compared your dick to your friends dick? You would be the only man i have ever heard of not basing thier existence off thier dick.. and yes there are some guys who are secure with themselves and I'm sorry but you should base things off your dick cause If it ain't good chicks won't stick around

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t think it’s something I should discuss with my future partner.

[Anemone978]

Never tell a dude he is smaller.. lol even if it is a blatant lie

[lightbulb27]

only talk negatively about past people and how good this person is or what they can do for you. probably one of the greatest things to learn is to filter/shut up and just appreciate what one has.

he's been hurt there before apparently, part of the learning process to get to know someone. live and learn.

This isn't too far from Cain and Able... stabbing someone to death... in the heart... only question is if you can resurrect the feelings and patch up the emotions.

[SeriouslyFunny00]

It's not taboo, but offensive..

[spartan55]

Yeah, we have big egos about that. You found out the hard way. (no pun intended)

[inhua]

because you've admitted to comparing guys

yes comparisons happen all the time but in areas where disrespect is allowed

comparisons are extremely disrespectful in relationships/potential relationships

[EmmaMary]

@stormmistress

Strange as it might seem to some, this is something I have never, ever done!

Lesson learnt perhaps!

[Gingerbread_GB]

Lol at the story. But yeah, guys are always competing, even subconsciously. The stronger, more dominant male gets to breed with the female. That natural instinct is coded in male DNA.

If you want to make him feel better, you can always do something subservient to boost his male ego. That'll get him excited again quickly.

[NathanDavis]

is it really necessary at all though? lmao

[AlexisDiani]

That’s kind of funny. Comparisons are almost always bad when you’re on the losing side. I totally understand how that could just come out in the moment. I think the thinking part of my brain goes offline during sex.

[Motiv8edMan248]

Trees with all of the porn nowadays everyone talking about how they love yada yada yada kind of dick or whatever kind of dick or dick they would never want to take it is a little surprising to know that that is truly still a sensitive issue for some guys. Hell I love it @StormMistress

[strateguy632]

although you said it in a positive way i also would feel awkward hearing about ex's privates. it is not taboo but for the average guy it is probly a turn off.

[slatyb]

Yes, never compare your partner to a past partner.

[Sixgunsound]

What you said would come across as him grabbing your stomach and saying he's happy there's more to hold onto here than there was with his ex. You accused him of having a small penis, which is something men in general are hypersensitive about. You probably won't see him again, and at your age should know better than to say things like that. I usually give you the benefit of the doubt but in this case I don't see a way to make excuses for you.

[StormMistress]

I know I feel really bad about it honestly. I was trying to be complimentary but it just came out wrong :(

[Sixgunsound]

If he really is small calling it big is just going to make him think you are sarcastic. If he doing a good job for you compliment him on that. Men do nothing to earn a small or bug penis, but they do decide whether they are going to put in the effort to learn what you like in bed and do that to you. Complimenting something they do have to earn (considerate nature and bedroom skills) is better than saying anything at all about something they did not earn but are still hypersensitive about.

[DermalPunch]

Why are you discussing your ex at all?

[StormMistress]

Brain screw up during sex.

[Uenvy694u]

Yes i think some things should be left unsaid.