Men repulse me but I’m not a lesbian? Am I asexual?

[Anonymous]

I am sexually attracted to men but as a gender they repulse me (yes that’s a generalization I know). I get turned on watching erotic movies (hereto) and erotica but have no desire to have sex, I have never been in a relationship and don’t want to or plan to EVER. I’m confused by my sexuality because I don’t find women attractive, I find men attractive to look at, but the thought of sleeping with a guy makes me want to actually throw up. I am not anti sex, I love masturbating with a dildo and vibrator. I just hate everything about the male gender, like how they are obsessed with sex and porn, how they only care about what a girl looks like, how they will be with one girl but secretly checking out another girl’s Snapchat. I just don’t understand why anyone would want to actually have sex with men because they are gross.

So what am I? Asexual seems wrong because it’s not like I have no sex drive, it’s just in my head.

[razelove]

What are you indeed. I'd say you're making a lot of assumptions about men as a whole which, for guys in your age range are pretty accurate, but they do grow from young men to men, you know?

Maybe try taking a couple of minutes thinking about that, rather than everything that repulses you, what would be qualities that would make you want to spend time with a guy? Before having him inside you, let's just shelf that for now, you need to work through this piece by piece if you do have attraction, sex drive, but a repulsive force pushing back.

Anyway, what are some of those qualities that, not your ideal man, but just men, or a guy that you would enjoy spending time with would have? Another big question to ask would be what made your perception so skewed to be fine with women, who do the same things, just more discreetly.

[NathanDavis]

it sounds like you just have a limited perception of what some man/how some man can actually be.

If you do not want to understand others, you will never be able to understand in the first place, and it can also make it more difficult to understand yourself.

and maybe this is why you're a bit confused.

Not all men are obtuse and dense, the time will come when you actually meet regular people, both men and women.

[1stranger]

I think you're a girl who hasn't decided yet. I don't think you're asexual, lesbian, or bi! For these you need to have no sex motive/drive or sleep with a few girls!

[MCheetah]

You got three options here.

A. Straight
B. Gay (or some meaningless variation of it, like "queer")
C. Asexual

Or as others have said, D. Feminist.
I'd go with option D.

[casserolie]

i was the same way till i met a good guy

[Berethor]

You are antisexual, and it sounds like you choose to be that way.

[ItsTheNephilim]

You're heterosexual, just prejudiced against men.

[0112358]

You seem hetero except with some toxic hang ups about men that seem based on an idea you have in your mind of them.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Maybe in your mind that so many males in your life did you wrong so you don't want sex with guys it's hard to say I wish you the best?

[ChiTown33]

So men are gross to you because of their percieved actions? Or the'd be gross to you anyhow. Because the way it sounds is you have trust issues with guys and that prevents you from being turned on by them. Which is why you can be turned on in a fantasy of them because you control it. Am i calling this right?

[K-I-S-S]

Maybe demisexual.

That is where you first need a connection with somebody, before any sexual desire.

[Nalix]

Interesting. What you describe isn't asexual, in fact you are attracted to masculinity, but not to men, specifically, not to men's typical behavior. It's a contradiction that will probably keep bothering you until you either get over it, or find a guy who is weird enough that he doesn't trigger that response in you. Of course, it is likely that if you find a rare guy who doesn't act like regular guys, that there will be something else about him that turns you off, like just being boring. Most guys who aren't disgusting, as you put it, end up being boring.

[Feelicks]

A misandrist, Good job

[Jamie05rhs]

All the feelings you have are completely normal. And I think most -- or at least a lot of -- women feel the same way. Yes, men are gross. I am one, so I will readily admit that.

My advice to you would be to just have platonic relationships with men until you find one that you like. Attraction and trust are developed over time.
If you don't find any good men, just continue being single. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

[Gedaria]

Don't know. I feel more or less the same. I'm a guy.

[Meldrum]

Frustrated I would say. Were you sexually attracted to a male character in your childhood? Were you ever abused? Maybe it's just that you haven't come across a man that cares for you, as a person.

[COMMODOREII]

Sexist attitude with prejudices

[Luckycharms12]

You don't live i real world and have fixed view what think guys are like. When you haven't ever dated one.

[Valnac]

I suggest you get counseling.

[Waldoe]

you're a hypocrite, you watch Porn, but put men down for the same thing... better to leave us alone... good call

[Jamie05rhs]

That's a good point! You're right, Waldoe! She IS hypocritical!

[Anonymous]

Woman doesn't repulse?

[Anonymous]

lesbian or just haven't found the right guy

[Anonymous]

You would be most accurately characterized as a feminist.

[MCheetah]

Damn! Beat me to it!

[Opinion Owner]

@MCheetah Yup, her feelings toward men are the driving force behind today's feminism. And obviously the purpose of her question was not to seek help with her sexuality, but rather just to express her hatred toward men. She's a feminist by definition.