Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health My boyfriend told me he had spanked and used hair pulling during sex with his ex. Is he a misogynistic jerk?
Anonymous
I'm very disappointed. I didn't see him that way. He tries to find excuses and all but I'm not really convinced... I don't really like how he justifies what he did.
Updates:
+1 y
I said I wanted some space to think about it. Thank you everybody for not giving many interesting points of view (besides some of course).
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What Girls & Guys Said
16 56I definitely doesn't mean he is misogynistic jerk. The might like being spanked, having her hair pulled or being dominated in some way.
But he did it...
So what? Anyway if you have him so much then why be with him.
I told him I wanted some space.
That's best for both of you. Find a guy who shares your views. Many of us seem to like his "misogynistic" ways.
Sure I’d rather be single actually. I feel much better as far as possible from men and their twisted mindset lol.
He’ll find whoever he wants. It won’t be my concern.
No, but you are bigot.
I would try to be more open minded about it I personally like that during sex it doesn't translate to an abusive personality
Why not?
Because I asked for it and maybe she did as well. Different people have different kinks My boyfriend never laid a finger on me except to sexually spank me which I requested he do
women love to be abused
I don't...
She might have been into that sort of thing even if he wasn’t necessarily. While you may think he’s a misogynistic jerk, another woman might consider him a fag or a prude for not capitulating to her desires. Damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. Can’t win with everyone all the time, right?
It actually sounds like they had good sex. You're just a prude who isn't worth his time
And you're probably just a jerk
You obviously really want to get spanked, have your hair pulled and generally get roughed up in bed but you're too afraid to admit it so you insult the guys who would do that. In reality you seek out these "jerks" because of your fantasies
Just one simple answer, read carefully :"NO"
If she was into it then he was doing her a favor but go ahead and keep looking at this through some weird, sex negative lens that link shames unnecessarily.
Yeah yeah yeah lol
*kink shames Does my point make any sense?
I’ve already said what I did about it so…
Really? Where?
In my update
I hope your thoughts go well then.
Very good. I don't have any cognitive dissonance.
Some girls like that tho, so no he's not misogynistic nor a jerk if that girl ask ( literally ask ) for it
I don’t think she asked for it. I guess it was more what people around him advised him to do…
how do you know he didn't ask?
*She
yea yea, why don't you answer the question?
He didn’t tell me he did.
did you ask tho? Why would he tell you if you didn't ask
He’s not that retarded
your right he's not but why would he say anything if he didn't have a reason to say it
Not to look like a rapist I guess lol
How would he be a rapist for spanking and hair pulling?
A guy who's into violence towards women
that's not rape. Rape is the putting your dick inside someone's pussy/pussy onto dick without consent. domestic violence can happen to anyone, so does assault. So if that lady had ask for it or said she was ok with it after he tried it out than its not any of those. Their for he is legally able to do that because he has consent
Consent doesn’t excuse everything
How so? If she says its ok than its ok. Now if she withdraws her consent than Yes if you keep doing it than its rape.
A lot of girls like that type of sex
A lot if girls have been damaged by porn culture
Be that as it may, if it turns on a girl, most guys would do it.
Still, it's violence. He should have refused to do it.
Spanking is violence. Yet parents do it, and a lot of girls like it during sex
Some parents do beat their children too
Probably already been noted but a lot of females LOVE being treated like that! If it's not your thing that's fine, but I'd like to shine light upon the fact that some males want to be treated the same way..
Probably not many then…
"A lot of women love to be treated like this!" I wonder where did this experience come from?
@Alisa158 Previous encounters! Also notably, the focus on one singular part of my reply..
Women who want a guy like you…
They do exist believe it or not.. Again, care to reply about the rest of my answer?
Which part? I guess everything has been covered…
Please reread my OP, or don't and we'll call it moot.
I don't understand what your issue is. there is no man on earth who wouldn't do this if he could get away with it except the ones that are lying.
let me guess, you don't swallow either?
“No man”? So you are speaking for all of us now? Talk about “just threw up.” FYI, I don’t do this or act this way toward women because I find it disgusting, degrading, and immoral behavior, regardless on if I can get away with it or not.
@SitBackRelax At least one guy here has some values… Most are wannabe rapists these days… OMG 😅
what's wrong with that? many women live this. I've done it a lot. not hard or mean just firm and showing I'm in control. I think you are over reacting.
I don’t think so. Violence is violence.
but I'm not being violent. I would never be violent. the last time I did it she told me to pull her hair harder.
you mean no one has ever slapped your ass when your having sex doggy style?
Of course Never I don't do this position anyway 🐶lol
well, I guess you pretty much answered any of my other questions I might have for you
Perfect 👌🏻
He likes to be rough so you should spank him for being bad...
At least this answer was funny lol
If it was consentual and both got pleasure from it why be mad? Now, he should not assume you like to be treated like that but doesn't mean he's bad
Consent doesn't excuse anything
If both are consenting there is nothing wrong with spanking/hair pulling
It's just abuse
Abuse is when it's not consentual
Abuse is abuse A kick is a kick
What twisted morals do you have where consent doesn't matter? If someone explicitly asks for something in a consensual relationship, they get it, and suffer no lasting harm, what is the problem? Consent is everything. It is the difference between a peaceful and loving relationship, and criminal offenses that justify the use of force to stop them.
@Morri94 no, the difference is the absence of agressivity and violence. Love isn’t about doing violent aggressive acts.
Consensual acts in the bedroom that I am not made to see, and leave no lasting harm, are not my problem. Some people are into kinky stuff that I have zero interest in, I am interested in things that they may not be, and these matters are between the individuals involved and whatever God they may believe in. It doesn't affect me, and it doesn't affect you if your boyfriend knows you're not into it and acts accordingly. Is he treating you well or not? Passing judgement without understanding simply leads to you being judged in turn.
@Morri94 that’s human nature lol
I heard even kinkier stuff out of some of my female friends in high school pretty regularly, and I didn't judge them for that. Their value and interest as human beings vastly outweighed the parts of their eccentricities that I wanted no part of, and a large fraction were oddballs who didn't have many people to talk to. These people received kind words, heart-to-heart talks, and pats on the back from me rather than judgement or lustful advances, because that is what they needed. I am just a man, and I found no secret to transcending human nature as nothing more than a boy. Kindness is all it takes.
@Morri94 you can't compartmentalize yourself that much.
I can and do.
@Morri94 You believe you can...
Sexual behavior is separate from actual behaviors. It could be related. But most likely not. That’s fantasy, role play etc,
Why would it be separated?
Because biology influences are sexual energy for obvious reasons. It’s like looking at the violent video games we play and making decisions about our personality.
If his partner liked that and wanted that then he is probably not one. Some women like to be submissive or man-handled during sex. It's just a turn on for some people.
Don't feel that you have to submit to that if you don't enjoy it.
Why would anyone accept to do this? This is really disrespectful…
It is sexually exciting to some people. It feels good for some. It doesn't imply that he is disrespectful of her as ling as it is for her enjoyment.
How can one justifies hitting an other person? It just doesn’t feel right to me…
You don't have to do it or allow anyone to do it to you.
I think you are more prude and sensitive than most folks
I think you are more prude and sensitive than most folks, one might say..
@notwoke prude because I don’t want to be manhandled? 😅😅😅😅😅😅
Hahhaahahahs you’re a misandry bitch! I would’ve even date you.
Suck a dick you cunt!
Oh! A misogynist... 😱 Lol
That’s all you’ve got. You’ve learned word. Anything you don’t like you keep throwing that word in the middle. If that’s the cause? Then you’re a misandry / Feminist/ racist / Islamophiba bitch! One day someone guy is goanna mike Tyson you. Because of your Mouth.
Islamophobie too? Why? Are you a muslim lol?
You can’t understand a simple metaphor. If you’d look good I’d handcuff you and stick my dick on your butt!
You have the mentality though...
You need a alpha male. So far you had pussies as so called men. That’s why you called everything women hater.
it's called "roll playing" and if she didn't like it, he wouldn't have done it... you sound like a judgmental prude... grow up, sex is FUN
You sound like a childish jerk.
opinions are like "assholes" everyone has One... including you
Whatever you want to believe...
I’m not sure how that makes him a misogynist
I mean if his ex liked it then what’s wrong with it