Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Should men and women be honest about their sexual past when getting into a relationship?
Anonymous
I think if you are getting into a relationship you should divulge your sexual past to your partner by virtue of you being in a honest relationship and not wasting anyone’s time. Why do men or women lie? What’s the point? You waste everyone’s time and the foundation of the relationship starts off as a lie essentially.
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What Girls & Guys Said
62 70There is a difference between telling a lie and simply not volunteering information. Initially, I never ask about a girl's sexual history. I want to know two things about her: do I need to be concerned about STD's and does she view sex as something that makes us closer and possibly leads to a long term relationship, or does she want to simply have sex for the sport of it. If she is not just looking for casual sex, and she is free from STDs, I know what I need to know.
Later, I may ask her whether she has experience with various sexual variations but I still don't need to ask her when she lost her virginity and how many partners she has had. If she asks me those questions, I will answer honestly, but I won't volunteer the answers.
Of course. If it's ever brought up, no good use in lying about it.
I agree. If the subject is brought up, both people NEED to be honest about the topic.
100% agreed
Yea letting someone know your sexual history is important because you don't want to run the risk of transmitting a disease you may not know about. Get tested at the same time and show your results and be done with it.
It’s not just for disease, but my own personal morals and dislikes. I couldn’t be with a woman with an extensive sexual history, I wouldn’t be comfortable in the long run.
What if the guy has a huge sexual past? Is it okay if she's not comfortable with your number or sexual history?
Yes, it’s okay. It applies to both men and women
I know this sounds broad, but if anything is important to anyone it should b brought up with your partner. If neither of you care about sexual history it need never b talked about. Since you care, it would be best if you found a woman who also saw it as important. However its also my belief that some things may not seem as important if you find the right person. Very, very occasionally.
You’re right, I agree.
Not telling a new person in your life everything that happen in your life prior to even knowing or meeting that new person is far from a lie. It’s called none of anyone’s business. I don’t want to know what my boyfriend did with other girls prior to meeting me. It’s pointless. The only thing necessary, is if we are to eventually have unprotected sex, is knowing he’s free of communicable diseases.
Just her sexual history, that’s all I’m really concerned about. I just can’t love or have sex with her knowing that other men have touched her and throat fucked her before, how can any man or woman be okay with that? I never understood why some people say it’s none of your business when you’re going to be spending a big portion of your life with that person? Imagine sharing a spoon with a woman who’s blowed every man in the room she was with during frat party in college... You need to know this...
Umm, no. You are seriously misguided. Please stop inviting me to your questions.
Sarah, you can’t call me misguided without giving any explanation. How am I misguided?
Umm, virgin hunter, I’ve already explained. A persons personal life is that persons personal life. What of that do you not get? Just because you enter into that persons life, gives them zero obligation to share with you, events that happened prior to you knowing they even existed in the world. If your own insecurities prevent you from loving a woman who has been “touched” before (SMH) , maybe you should spend more time to get a better understanding of yourself and why it’s so imperative for you to know someone else’s personal history. The risk of std’s is Really all that’s necessary when entering into a sexual relationship. news flash, as you get older, the most interesting and attractive people in the world, have possibly even probably been touched by another before you showed up. Your spoon analogy only speaks to your ignorance. And there’s no point further debating or with ignorant. Buh-bye.
I see no point in not telling her. Mostly prospects that never went anywhere A few slimeball chicks that tried to con me, a few nutcases I now know better how to avoid. And the one that did get too close physically? She's long out of the frame. After all I did to keep her important, she went and had to screw it up. She alienated nearly all her other friends too.
So I'm very careful who I let get close today. Most gals should understand that.
Agreed
Yes i personally think so :)
I see no reason not to be, if the person doesn't like it or has issues with your past they're probably not the right person for you.
Exactly PrincessPie, I agree
Yes, honesty is very important but doesn't mean you should say it.
I wouldn't ask and I wouldn't tell on my own.
Sure.. I am always honest about it.
You’re the perfect woman LaFemmeFatale.
^_^ ❤
You raise a good point, but at the same time, no need to divulge everything on the first date.
Not everything, but would you be honest telling your partner about your sexual history if he asked?
I am not ashamed of my sexual history.
No need to be, just be honest. Some people will find fault with it, others not so much. In a way, you weed out those who aren’t compatible with you.
Why is it lying if you keep things to yourself? witholding and lying aren't the same thing. What you should be honest about? Sexual health status. Anything else isn't your business. I don't kiss and tell. I don't go into a restaurant and tell the waiter where I've eaten before. I don't expect someone to tell me either. Their past is their past. I only care about their present.
@Blonde401 I'm an advocate of each to their own, and the best truth is when someone tells you something that only you and they share... but moving onto the restaurant/sexual analogy... whilst I understand you wouldn't tell them where you'd eaten before, surely you'd be interested in whether your companion can reach desert or if once they've eaten lunch they're content to sit back and leave you unfulfilled... and let's not even discuss food poisoning lol
@AndrewMG you took the analogy too far 😂
@Blonde401 Yeah that analogy left us both unfulfilled! lol
@AndrewMG I just want dessert now 😒
@Blonde401 Me + You + Toblerone = total fulfillment and a bit of Swiss based desert lol
@AndrewMG 😂 sounds like a winner to me
I don't get the women who are adamant in the past not mattering while refusing to reveal it. If it doesn't matter then why is it so hard to reveal it?
Exactly man, you’re right
A very good point indeed! :D
Yes especially if you are bisexual
lol direct hit
@Listening5 you agree?
@Rissyanne Honestly I have to agree, its something that should be put out there and not hidden from the other person. I seen and heard people lying about this and it ain't right.
@Listening5 No it's not right when they dont disclose that. Some people... including myself do not want to be with a bisexual man.
I absolutely think so. And it wouldn't bother me anyway because I'm sexually attracted to women who've slept with a lot of guys anyway. I'm just weird like that. And I like hearing all their stories, it turns me on.
It's good when both sides are honest in a relationship. I would never lie about it.
You’re young, so I just want to say this: The past isn’t just the past, it affects the future. Just keep that in mind when some random guy at a party persuades you to hookup.
I'm young but I'm not an idiot. I know that a lot of people take your sexual past into consideration before forming a relationship. I had sex with a lot of people already.
Well, that’s definitely not good at your age... Just be honest if someone asks in the future about your sexual history, you can’t change it now but you can be honest.
I hate lying.
I agree. We should be all honest about everything in the past right at the start. Why people lie I don't get it either.
I agree genie
One hundred million percent
Lmao thanks Mahaim
To a point only so much as it can be a health issue otherwise it None of your business
It’s plenty your business, you’ll be spending a portion, sometimes a big portion of your life with this person. You’ll also be having sex, children, and sharing many things with her/him. If anything, it’s definitely your business.
No it absolutely is not any of your business if you get married and have klds then in that case its still none of your bussiness. unless she wants to share it with you. i am constantly suprised by the men in the newest generation who are coming of age nowdays and how (im not saying you of course) they are so intimidated by women. they have to try anything they can to control them subjigate them etc. So please tell me one valid reason why you think you should have knowlege of a woman who you supposedly give a shit about even though she doesn't want to tell. by the way forcing some one to give up information that they doont want to share with you is not love, thats called being a bully and being childish
It’s just biology really. It’s natural to feel turned off or uncomfortable knowing that the woman you are spending time with has slept with many men or has had an extensive sexual past. That’s why many men find it important to know before getting into something serious. It’s not about controlling, being intimidated, or subjugating women it’s just to see if she breaks any of your personal morals, beliefs, or dealbreakers. Like I said, this has been the case for the existence of mankind, it’s biology really.
no its not boiology its not love i am so sorry to say this but its jealousy and jealousy is about your own insecurities and feelings of inadaquacy. i know this is not what you want to hear so do me a favor and yourself one as well. just try to imagine for a second that i am rightthen think about what you need to do to get ridof those horrible feeling. here is the catch once yu cqn control that about yourself then you will look at your lady with a truer purer type of love your relationship will will be amazing
I don’t see why it’s a big deal to admit your past. Doesn’t everyone win? If I don’t like it, I breakup with you and you then realize I wasn’t the right man for you. Win-win. People have all sorts of dealbreakers and I don’t understand why everyone can be honest at the start so no time is wasted.
@Stockton you are so bang on with all your replies here! It is 100% about insecurity, whether guys who care about this stuff admit it or not.
Why is it always about insecurity and nothing else? How about morals, values, beliefs, respect, or biology?
Who's morals and beliefs, what about respect for the one you say you love. Maybe your idea of love is different from mine. For me love is defined kind of like this, when you without prior thought and without hesitation or reservation with a happy heart put the wants, needs, happiness, health, security, and just overall well being of the person you love first, even before your own. Oh by the way there is nothing wrong with sharing that info as well, as long as both are happy ready and willing to do so. But hey you asked an opinion and I gave it. You can find a girl that you can intimidate and bully to be your partner. Me I won't settle for anything less than a woman. A woman who has a bit of attitude a mind of her own, a woman who has explored this world as well as her self. A woman who respects me and what I am about, enough to stand up for her ideals. I don't want some kind of pet monkey on a string who dances when I command.
Thank you Sara413 I don't have any superior morals or knowledge I just kind of go with how I want to be treated
I agree that there should be honesty about past sexual relationships.. Especially so y'all can just know more about each other, and learn to accept each other better.. There is no need to hide it.. Although some people can be judgmental about the past..
Thanks for your input David, I agree with you.
Haha of course PLM.. :)