What constitutes a lot of men, for women to to have had sex with?

Question

Why do men get so intimidated by women that have either been with a lot of men before them or who have a lot of experience in the bedroom?

Why do they often class them as "sluts", when men are most of the time classed as the opposite?

Do you think it should be taken on an individual basis, getting to know the person, knowing that you have someone that will know what they are doing and how etc?

As far as I'm aware, as women, we don't judge as highly as this, and would see that you got experience in and enjoyed yourself.

For me, it was a good thing because I played the field when I was younger, and as an adult have always been faithful, honest and my sexual experience has always been a plus, in my relationships.

There must be more to this, maybe it's down to male insecurities? If not/so, please tell me why/not etc. Plus any other details you wish to express about your experiences 😍

Lliam · Accepted Answer

I agree with your attitude when you said "For me, it was a good thing because I played the field when I was younger, and as an adult have always been faithful, honest, and my sexual experience has always been a plus in my relationships." That was my experience, as well.

I don't know why some guys want women to be sexually inexperienced.

Maybe those guys think their dicks are small or that they are substandard in some other way, so they want girls who won't know the difference.

Maybe some guys want to take over where the girl's daddy left off. They want to dominate girls as if they are their parent, making rules and giving orders. They want submissive, dependent women.

I never had a thing for innocent virgins. I never asked a girlfriend about her body count and none ever asked about mine. We shared things with each other but didn't go into every detail about each other's lives. I assessed their personalities myself, and not based on a background check or resume. People learn from experience and become better for it.

The best girlfriend I was every with had a rough life. But by the time I met her when she was 30, she had become an amazing woman.

I think people should celebrate their sexuality. They should learn about their bodies, about sex and about relationships. They should learn from experience. They should live life with gusto as long as they don't do things that are self destructive.

I will say, though, that I preferred girls who wanted exclusive relationships. I wasn't interested in girls who regularly engaged in one night stands or gratuitous sex. But I wouldn't judge them for experimenting when they were young.

I like women who are heterosexual and have strong libidos, but also have brains, ambition, common sense, self esteem, minds of their own, healthy values, and normal hopes and dreams. They love being female and feminine. They don't need a man in order to survive, so when they choose a man, it's because they want to share their life with him, not because they need him. They want an equal partner, not a daddy or a boss. They want a man that they admire and can envision building a life with.

21Cowboy21 · Accepted Answer

I would say it matters less about their past - and a great deal about their present with guys - and rightfully so.

Day you have a guy and a girl. Guy has 5-10 girls on rotation at any given time during his 20s - fairly typical. If any of those girls who are only having sex with that ma. Gets pregnant - they know with 100% certainty the baby is his and he will pay child support and help raise it. And the other girls who are not pregnant know with 100% certainty they are not pregnant - and so does the male - so the other females are never asks upon to help foot the cost of raising the child or throughout the pregnancy while the female may be on mat leave.

Now lets flip the genders and see what happens -

If girl has 5-10 guys on rotation who are each only hooking up with her - each of them have no sweet clue if she gets pregnant who the father may actually be or not. All of them may have only at best a 10-20% chance - but thats what every single one of them will feel. She knows with 100% confidence she is the mother - but the father has no idea until the baby is born - or sometimes only after x number of years they may see the baby looks nothing like them unless a dna test is done (which it usually is not as thats very insulting to the female if requested). So this causes quite a lot of distress among the potential male suitors.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I love this question, I’ve never understood why some men get so judgmental about a woman’s body count. Fair enough if the woman wasn’t being safe, for example I always make sure the guy either gets tested before we sleep together and if they haven’t I always make sure we wear a condom and no oral sex if not tested. Also test myself regularly. I find it hypocritical how men always want sex and then judge the girls that enjoy it. Surely it’s either an insecurity thing or just something stupid that’s been ingrained into their heads from society

anon1903 · Accepted Answer

Women s1utshame other women. It becomes easy for guys to follow the trail.

Purity culture blows. Mainly because there's no guarantee a virgin woman will find a virgin husband.

Lastly, some people downright ignore homosexual experiments.

weysally · Answer

men always think they will be compared with others, it's a funny world, they all want women to be experienced but don't like it because of the forewritten,

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I think many men are insecure about their sexual performance, get angry at the idea of being judged by a woman who has lots of experience to use in making comparisons, and they project that anger onto the women who have the experience.

For me, what constitutes "too many" depends upon a woman's age and the recency of her experiences.

A girl who is 15 and has had 5 sexual partners in her lifetime seems to be promiscuous, but a woman who is 35 and has had 5 sexual partners in her lifetime seems to be far from promiscuous.

What matters to me is not the number, per se, but what the number might reveal about a woman's attitude towards sex. I don't want casual hookups, and I am looking for a lifetime partner. I am not going to have sex wth a woman if I think am just going to be #73 on her ever-expanding list of sexual partners. So. . .

If I meet a 55 year old woman who has had 20 partners. . .

If she had 19 partners before age 25, then settled into a long term relationship with #20, and has not been sexually active since that relationship ended, she is probably a great prospect for a relationship.

But if she settled into a long term relationship wth her #1, ended that at age 53, and has had 19 partners in the last 2 years, she is a poor prospect for a relationship.

That's my philosophy on this subject.

Anemone978 · Answer

Anywhere from 1 to 15 is fine for your lifetime... so I picked B 21 - 40 way too many to be allowed to touch your body, people need to have self respect...

JamesDiaz11 · Answer

Anything over 10 people is A LOT. Realistically, a woman is usually ruined after 5-7.

It's funny to me how women will judge men on standards they don't expect to live up to (e. g. being financially strong, being tall, being physically strong, etc.), but reject the idea that men have standards for women that they don't expect to live up to. We simply value different things, and this arbitrary "what's good for the goose is good for the gander" sidesteps that there ARE different standards, because there we value different things (and are different).

It's also funny that you asked the question, tried to frame it in such a way to elicit your desired responses, and got salty when this didn't occur (men want women with lower body counts, get over it).

summiter · Answer

Our pasts are our pasts and we should not get caught with numbers and body counts.

godfatherfan · Answer

This is why you never ever ever ever ever talk about your past. Even when I was 20, I didn't want to know about my then fiancé. She basically made me tell her. No answer is going to be good. Just don't talk about it. As long as nobody has an STD, it doesn't make any difference. Not like you can change it.

coachTanthony · Answer

Men want women who have had less trauma in their life. The more men women get involved with the more trauma it causes them and they find it harder to pair bond because of it. Women love scars on men because it's masculine. Men don't want a woman with scars because the more scars the more masculine she becomes. Men want purity and femininity a woman who cherishes her body and doesn't just let any man inside her. These are men of course who are looking for a wife, kids, marriage etc. I don't think men who who are just dating casual really cares as long as they get laid.

Berethor · Answer

More than 0, a man is like a key, a woman is like a lock, I don't trust a woman with dirty past.

abc3643 · Answer

> 10

Paul_in_Indy · Answer

It’s only too many if she thinks it is. If she is upset by it, I can respect her regret. But I certainly don’t care. It isn’t, really, my business.

monorprise · Answer

I would say more than 3 is a lot.

For a woman every man she has sex with decreases her ability to bond and thus suitability as a wife and mother.
So the number ideally should be 1, realistically in our modern culture its a lot higher which is in part why so many of them are UN-marryable

Sixgunsound · Answer

I'm not trying to be difficult, but have you ever studied the differences in how men and women pair bond? There are lots if differences in how men and women have sex psychologically and socially. We are equal in value, but we aren't the same.

Agape93 · Answer

No idea, I couldn't care less about a number

exitseven · Answer

I would say anything more than ten. I know it is much easier for girls to rack up big body counts but I think ten is quite enough.

Mansearching · Answer

Men have fear of comparison. Then our ego gets bruised.  The other part. There's a double standard and its not right. Men can be sluts too. They're called hore mongers. Pathetic if you ask me.

Chad345 · Answer

I already know there's a lot of hate. When I say there's no such thing as a slut or "too many" men, soo much rage and hate I get back. I'll bet I'll get it now. I don't care.

Derrimar · Answer

I'm actually find "sluts" very exciting. I think that woman should try a many man as they like, more the better. I wouldn't feel insecure unless she want to humiliate me. if she had a lot of experience good for her, I will be v pleased and excited just thinking about it. I want a woman that really enjoy sex. Want make me insecure is a woman that is not sexual or that doesn't enjoy clearly sex

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

More than 1 person every 3 years is "a lot, and anything over 2 total is wtf are you doing? How did you not learn from the mistake the first time? Wait until you KNOW they are match.

genericname85 · Answer

INTIMIDATION. again it's intimidation. if a man shows a behavior that you either disagree with or don't like you already give it a negative label from the getgo to frame it in such a way that there's no dignified man for a man to explain his position in the matter. that is toxic femininity in my opinion. if you genuinely are open and empathic and trying to understand, you don't use such toxic langauge to invalidate whatever they're gonna answer from the getgo.