What would you do if your religious parent may lie to your future wife or husband about your virginity when you’re not a virgin?

My dad tells me he wants them to know I’m saving myself for marriage but I did NOT since I had sex at my age 22 and I was telling him how people give consent but he mentions it should only be under the eyes of god but I worry he will try to lie to the guy I actually marry one day that I’m a virgin and that’s a big deal because I’ve had sex and still plan to have sex before marriage. How should I go about this? Why does he try to make it his business😞
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Superb Opinion

  • He's not going to actually lie he's going to say what he believed is what he knows he only knows what he knows I don't know your dad I don't know too many parents that would say hey buddy guess what you're married a virgin good job lol paolaa , look , you must drive yourself bonkers with all the things you put yourself through, when that time comes you can tell your boyfriend how's the guy you're going to marry, when you first start dating did you have had sex before okay so he's going to remember that and they say he decides to marry you and you're going to have to say my dad's going to tell you I was a virgin he doesn't know that we've been fucking like to racehorse rabbits and he doesn't know that I had sex before you so I'm a little bit embarrassed but just let him say what he wants to say please don't tell him that we had sex please don't tell me that I had sex before you. And I I won't tell him, you had sex before me. It'll work out, it would definitely all work out

Most Helpful Guy

  • Be honest with whoever, you fall in love with. Never lie about it. He may be a virgin saving himself for you and that might bother him, but your honesty is necessary. Eventually, you'll be able to tell your dad the truth but it's hard to tell parents something they don't want to hear, especially when they don't mean anything bad. They love you, but don't see things the same.

    • If he was saving himself marriage I don’t know if I could wait that long given I have a high sex drive but I’m definitely gonna have that conversation before we even get to that point with my future boyfriend/husband because they deserve to know and I just don’t want my father to get angry and I know he’s gonna look down on me but he’s very religious with Christianity and I just don’t want him to think I’m marrying under the eyes of god as a virgin when that’s a big lie and I wanna have sex more way before then. I feel like he paints this image of me and it hurts my feelings because I’m not as religious.

    • Well you should definitely get to know who you are committing to, whether you are getting married or not. People can wait for the ones they want to be with, high sex drive or not, but not everyone can. They deserve to know the truth, and if you both want to be together, there are no lies between you. As far as your dad, you are an adult now. It will be hard when he finds out but you an adult, not some 14 year old girl. Keep it from him as long as you can. If he finds out, he'll be disappointed. Might even be angry, but you'll still be his daughter.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I am sure that you will be honest with your husband to be and the 2 of you will enjoy sex before you marry. You just have to explain to him that your dad, because of his religious indoctrination will unfortunately feel he has to misrepresent reality. Stress that you love your dad so much and that you trust your husband to be to respect your wish to not challenge your dad’s alternative reality.

  • It is NOT his business. Just be honest with your further SO. Tell them your dad thinks you are a virgin and he will tell him that but you aren’t.
    .
    My parents thought I was a virgin until marriage also. But I’d been having sex with him for 5 years

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I don’t see the problem because the guy is gonna be dating you not your dad. He’s bound to take your word over your dad’s :)

  • I will do nothing since it will be a obvious lie since you would had that discussion with the guy way before your parents had it. You might even had sex before that. So they will be caught red-handed with the lie.

    • Yeah I just don’t want heated arguments to cause but I suppose I’ll tell my future boyfriend and husband to go along with it when that happens but I just don’t wanna be humiliated. It’s my body and it’s what I choose.

    • It gets on my nerves and hurts when he puts so much pressure on me with this and makes it a big deal 😞

    • It would only be humiliation for the lying parent, not you. It's not your fault if they lie unless they don't know about you loosing your virginity.

  • You are a nice adult. Tell your prospective partners the truth, and explain about your father.

  • Tell the guy the truth before he ever meets your dad

    That is creepy!!!

    • My dad has always been religious like this even with my brothers I can imagine and their guys

    • But I’m his only daughter but it’s like yeah he’s way too paranoid and religious toward these things

  • What matters is what you tell your future husband. If you’re far enough along that you are introducing a man to your parents, he should already know you are not a virgin and that your parents are traditional/religious and think you are a virgin.

  • As someone who herself comes with conservative background, I'd suggest lie about it. People, even the educated ones, surprisingly hold their cultural / religious belief system above all. There's not much you can do.

  • This is none of his business.

  • I would tell the parent your body is not their business. I would also be sure the guy knew the truth if the parent lied to him.

  • Just say it's not true.

  • One should never lie about such things. I really respect you for your honesty when sharing about your life.

  • Before they finalise things, talk to the guy... Come out open to him about your thoughts

  • I would hope your Dad would not bring up your sexual history, or lack of it in his eyes, to a prospective mate.

    • I just feel like I’m in the middle because he expects so much from me and I’m gonna be in between but I just want my boyfriend and future husband to know the truth and hopefully he won’t look down on me knowing how my dad is and I’ve had sex already but it’s also my body like this hurts my feelings because I feel trapped sometime that’s why I snuck out to have sex and I’m gonna sneak out again more because I feel it’s unfair

    • Where do you live?

  • Tell the person in secret you aren't really a virgin and just explain to him about your super religious parent. Hopefully theyll just get it.

    I certainly would as I understand there are still a lot of strict religious people that place high value on sex and virginity and expect their children to obey that unrealistically.

  • pre warn you fella

  • My dad knows but I never told my mom

  • He's controlling

  • Aw that really sucks that he’s strict about ur vcard
    As long as ur boyfriend/finace knows and is willing to pretend he thinks ur a virgin u should be in the clear i think
    Until then if ur worried u can keep lying to ur dad to be safe

    • Thing is how does he believe it’s his business and place what I do with my body? I get it he feels it’s wrong in our religion but he can’t tell me like I’m a robot like control me. It just drains me emotionally tho because I feel trapped and like I’m a burden since he paints this image of me that he wants that isn’t true. I can’t wait for marriage and couldn’t because I value intimacy and it’s important to know if me and the guy I marry have that chemistry beforehand other wise it wouldn’t be right for me. I respect people who wait too but I just couldn’t wait.

    • I totally get that! It super important to know if there’s chemistry before getting committed to marriage. I’m not religious so I don’t know that kind of pressure but in all cases I really feel it’s important to do what u need to for urself and ur relationship

  • Tell your SO that your father has yet to accept the fact that you are sexually active, but you are and aren't a virgin anymore.

  • Tough question. You told him you had sex?

  • Not let them speak to each other.

    • Or I could just make sure my boyfriend/future husband knows the truth before hand

    • That too.

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