Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Which is harder for you to deal with as a man, a woman who refuses to have sex with you or a woman who has had sex partners before meeting you?

Don't be that person who says neither case bothers you. Just of these two scenarios which hurts or makes you more upset?

I'm just curious because I see both complaints here about how women are either forcing men to be mgtow/incels or that women are "low value" if they have any partners before marriage. So which is worse to you?
A woman who refuses to have sex with me.
Vote A
A woman who has had sex with a partner (s) before I even knew them.
Vote B
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
Updates:
+1 y
Not gonna lie, I didn't think this would be such a blowout, but of the two I am happier that this one is a winner. Thank you all for participating!
1 4

Superb Opinion

  • There aren't many men in the US who are over about 20 years of age who would expect a girl to be a virgin - perhaps with the exception of the very religious. Virginity just isn't a very realistic expectation today. But, for women who hope for a serious relationship, most men prioritize women with a small number of partners, and assign much lower value to women with a high number of partners. This isn't just for sexual reasons, but also because women who have lots of sexual partners lose the ability to pair bond.

    Women naturally bond with the men they have sex with, and most exceptions to this rule are due to abuse in childhood (not necessarily sexual abuse - other abuse can also affect bonding). A woman with a normal, healthy ability to pair bond, who starts to have casual sex with various men, WILL actually bond with them, only to break the bond right away. Each time she breaks a bond, though, the next bond will be weaker - it's kind of like trying to reuse a piece of tape; every time you pull off the piece of tape and try to reapply it, the glue is weaker than before, until it can no longer stick to anything. Such women will never last in a long-term relationship, and most men know this and will not consider a relationship with them. They may have casual sex or be friends with benefits with them, but most guys wouldn't get into a relationship that they knew from the beginning was sure to fail.

    It's also true that few men have any interest in a sexless relationship, so if a woman isn't willing - hell, ENTHUSIASTIC about having sex with a man on a regular basis, then most men aren't going to be in a relationship with her.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I guess if it's which bothers me more it's the woman not having sex with me, but it's still only a little bit. Just like not all women are my type, I'm not every woman's type.

    And honestly, I think most "Incels" are voluntarily celibate. Generally they aren't doing the things that are considered standard for wooing women, or they are only aiming for women that are out of their league. And they are calling her shallow when they are doing the same thing they accuse her of.

    And I don't have any problem with a woman having sex partners before me, she could have been in a record breaking gangbang porno for all I care. I'd be a hypocrite if her sex history was a problem. I've had sex with multiple women, she can have had sex with multiple men. Hell I've had sex with multiple men too.

Most Helpful Girls

  • My guy had a number of partners before me. I don't care.

    Personally, I liked to have one sex partner in this life. I tried, kind of hard, and I have certain attractions (not face/body) some other women don't. Still, mine is two, too.

    I just believe in having "the lowest number possible in every given situation"; in self-control and being selective, basically. That means, even if I was a prostitute, I would try to keep repeat clients so I would have my target income without having sex with all the men in the city. Lower numbers are just beneficial for most people in my opinion.

    But being refused sex? That makes me depressed.
    Refusing sex (to my love)? That makes me feel like a depressing person, which is pretty depressing.

  • Neither. It'd be great if a woman gave me the opportunity to pleasure her.

    • Love this attitude! I feel the same honestly.

    • Same for men, as in bisexual.

    • I mean... Men are alright I guess lmao They just don't do it sexually for me.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 46

  • I don't think it's fair that a man has to work to the very inch of his soul to make his woman happy when it comes to shopping, cooking, , cleaning, buying her important items such as tampons or bras or panties, paying the expenses of her hair, nails, toes, Dental Work, Medical bills, and everything in between and the woman refuses to make him happy by showing him the loyalty and commitment for her. I don't think it's fair for a woman to just take advantage of any man if she isn't going to try to put up the 50% in the relationship.

    • Ok if I am interpreting this right, I think you are saying you'd be upset if she wasn't have sex with you. That also seems weird that you are basically implying you want to be married to a prostitute then. Maybe she could just contribute with also having a job and also helping to pay bills.

    • I hate prostitutes. I would never marry a prostitute, people who violate themselves for money aren't worth the marry or taking responsibilities. As a gentleman, pussy is sacred and it cannot be purchased with cash or bribery. It can only be earned by getting to know the woman, earning her love, her trust, her devotion, her commitment, her loyalty, and when she's feels comfortable for a man to have it in a relationship. In a relationship it's 50/50. A man has to give 50% in the relationship and so does the woman to keep the relationship between them stable.

    • So, then let me clarify, when you say give 50% you mean she should be working a job, splitting the house chores evenly, participate evenly with you in child rearing and be an equal participant in sexual relations not out of expectation but actual desire from her end?

  • Big surprise. Refusing to have sex is the winner. 😂

  • I place zero value on virginity. The idea of a woman's "purity" is a joke.
    I've had lots of girlfriends and not one of them was a virgin.
    I prefer a woman who is liberated enough to live life to the fullest. She loves men, loves being female, enjoys her body, and doesn't have paternalistic sexual hangups.

    I don't care if she has been fucked 1000+ times before she chooses me me as a partner, as long as she is monogamous with me.
    In saying that, I like girls who pursue relationships and give themselves 100% to their partners. If they've been in several relationships that didn't work out, I don't care. That's normal. However, I wouldn't be interested in a woman who had been promiscuous in the sense of having a lot of one night stands, getting fucked by strangers in bathrooms, etc.

    In other words, I like "good girls" who have healthy values, normal hope and dreams, are discerning, value themselves, and love sex.

  • I hate slut shaming. Drives me nuts. I've always considered sexually empowered women amazing. And a lot more fun in a bigger picture sort of way. So a past doesn't bother me at all. Share your stories with me if it's appropriately germane to the situation. It's a turn on.
    The other choice is the one that hurts most because it's the actual rejection.

    • Great attitude! Love it!

  • Well what do you want in has done in her past is nobody's business except for hers that wouldn't bother me.
    But what would bother me is if I'm in a relationship with her and she doesn't want to have sex. It wouldn't bother me too long because I have a choice to make you do I'm going to stick with the relationship and fight with her trying to get sex or I'm just going to walk away

  • I don´t a real answer to that because I have equally problems with it. It might be so that I have more problems with be due to being infertile I feel like if she´s experienced in sex she might not wanna sleep with me.

  • I guess you could that the hard part is the shaking of self esteem when a woman turns me down
    As much as I try to play it off it always bangs in my head saying "why did she say no? Am i not good enough? What is my value in the sex market?"
    It's these thoughts that make rejection like taking a punch to the jaw.

    As for her having a past, aside from me being cautious about stds I don't really mind it in fact many girls i was with had an impressive body count. The only downside is that their climax threshold becomes insanely hard to reach, but a rewarding feeling if you can mange it

  • I'm afraid I cannot answer the question then because my answer you won't allow! I will give you a clue though.
    I have never cheated on a woman and I have never been without a g/f since the age of 15 for more than 4 weeks at a time. So why would it bother me? If I don't like a situation, I leave without fuss and without stress or angst towards her.
    The way I see it is, if she isn't suitable for me I will go find someone else who is.

  • Really, it's all the same to me because I ain't trying to get sex. And if I'm not then neither of these women are refusing anything or their history doesn't matter.

    I know you said dont say neither but there's really nothing else I can say

    • Shhh, my secret answer is that I hope people actually say neither in the end.

    • Ah right lol. Keep it hushed

  • I couldn't care less about her body count. I think shaming anyone for their sexual past is bad form. I am only interested in past relationships for the same reasons I am interested in all the other things about her past that made her into the person she is today.

    Why was I given only two choices? The thing that would bother me by far the most isn't an option.

    Why are you happier this one is the winner?

    • I'm going with the two things I see most on this board of complaints about dating women besides only being interested in money and frankly I don't consider it viable enough to work across all or even most women. I'm glad the first is winning because let's be honest, it's the most true. These guys who sit there and preach about how women are low value and absolutely garbage like that are just upset they aren't getting sex too.

  • I don't care about her sexual past but of she not prepared to have sex with me that would be hard, and that means I'd have to deal with that hard-on my own 🤣

  • neither one of a man can’t handle those situations then you might wanna get away from him

  • Why are those the only options?

    • It is the biggest complaints I see on this board about women other than women only being interested in money which I am discounting because I straight up know it isn't true.

  • I mean it don't hurt me like I get angry or anything. But of course a woman not wanting to sleep with me but I want to with her is upsetting for myself.
    Don't see how her having past partners is sad in anyway though.

  • Girls who slept around.

    My wife was a virgin. I had no issue waiting for on her. She was well worth it. I was seeking a girl I wanted to marry.

    Some club girl who lost her virginity at 15 and has been doing the one night stand thing for ten years and who wanted to party was the type I'd never have any interest in. She can go stay with the players and man whores.

  • If she refuses sex she' basically worthless as a romantic partner, ngl. doesn't mean I want a woman with a high body count though. To me sex is apart of something special and if I'm not getting it from her I dont feel loved or valued anyway so I would break it off.

    • There's actually a biochemical reason why men feel this way. Has to do with how produces the hormones and such that induce feelings of intimacy. Oddly enough the same chemicals are produced in women and serve the same function but are produced by contradictory activities to men. Men require physical contact for production and see a decrease with deep connective conversation. Women; exactly the opposite.

    • @ZDoes yeah I read about that somewhere. But when you say women are the opposite you're saying they disconnect during sexual contact?

    • Not exactly that as I recall. It was a while ago. Just that production is slowed as opposed to being increased. And this is referring to feelings of intimacy, closeness and should not necessarily be linked to sexual desire per say. Just the feeling of deep connection.

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  • Next time, could you include a see results option?

    • And cheat the people of a vote?

  • If she had sex partners before me and still refused to have sex with me it would really burn my butt.

    • Oh the old two for one special. Lol ok I see you

    • I bet it happens. Maybe it happened to me. The jury is still out.

  • woman who refuses to have sex. I need the booty, no booty im moving on

  • Does going down and staying down count as having sex?

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Home >  Sexual Relationships  > Which is harder for you to deal with as a man, a woman who refuses to have sex with you or a woman who has had sex partners before meeting you?