Why are guys so insecure if a girl prefers a larger penis?

[Anonymous]

Why are guys so insecure about girls preferences for dick size?
Like guys have all sorts of preferences. Big boobs, small boobs, skinny, thick, athletic, petite etc etc etc.

But then if I say I prefer the feel of a bigger dick around the 7-8in size they go all weird and insecure.
Why?
Some guys like small boobs and some like big boobs.
Some girls like big penises and some prefer smaller or medium sizes.

I'm sorry for the vent.
I've been talking to a guy on a dating app that seemed cool. He asked me the question, I gave him an honest, polite answer and he abused me. I didn't even know what he looked like naked at this point.

[RB3493]

Penis size is a common topic but I hope to write something that is not obvious to everyone. Before I do, it is never OK to verbally abuse anyone for their preferences. Period. Now for my comment.

Women are constantly saying things like, "why are men so insecure about penis size. Don't they know there is so many things that are more important?" You are missing the point, but I understand why and I think I can help.

What if a man said, “don’t be so concerned about whether or not I think you are hot. I wish you were hotter but there are more important things. You are attractive enough, so I don’t know why you are upset.” The man in this hypothetical scenario is missing the point. The point is what is important to the woman: almost all women want to feel and believe their man thinks they are hot. The man, in this scenario, says something that is callous and perhaps mean. He doesn’t realize it, though, because he isn’t looking at it from the woman’s perspective. He is ONLY looking at it from his perspective which is that he HONESTLY doesn’t care about the degree of hotness of the woman he is with. She is attractive enough. But the woman cares GREATLY and being “attractive enough but wish you were hotter” hurts deeply, for most women. It would nag/gnaw on most women’s feelings over time and make them feel inadequate.

The same is true for men about their penis size. For a woman to like a larger penis than her man has is the same as wishing he were larger, from the man's perspective. It can gnaw on a guy’s feelings over time and make him feel inadequate that the woman he is with wishes his penis was larger but accepts his less-than-desired-size because other things are more important to the woman. Well, other things are not more important to the man. She is missing the point. And, for many men, she is being mean even if she never intended to be.

I can’t explain why it is so important to a man to feel his penis size is impressive / remarkable to the woman he is with. I bet women can’t explain why it is important to feel they are hot in a man's eyes. That is just how we are each wired. So, I won’t try to explain WHY it is important. Let’s just accept that it is. With that as a starting point, let me explain some realities men face with this issue.

Two things determines how "big" a man feels: (1) the actual measurement of his penis size compared to the average penis size and (2) how a woman reacts to his penis size. Number 2 is FAR more important than number 1. If a woman honestly believes her boyfriend's/husband's penis is impressively large, he will feel incredible. This is true even if his penis measures smaller than average. When you think about it, a man's primary source of validation for his penis size is the women he is with – there is no public appraisal of a man’s penis size because it is always covered up. And, for most men, he only has about 6.4 women in his life that see his penis in a sexual situation (https://www. cdc. gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/n_2015-2017. htm).

Ladies, you are essentially in full control of how a man feels about his penis size and how he feels about it is as important, or even more, than how you feel about being hot. But, he doesn’t get appreciative glances in public about his penis size. You are the ONLY source of validation that matters and there are few women in a man’s life that see his penis in a sexual situation so your “vote” is unbelievably important -- he only gets about six votes his entire life!

When you told that guy that you like large penises, you basically told him that if you and he had sex, one of the very few women in his entire life that would see his penis would most likely be unsatisfied with it. You essentially guaranteed him that you would make him feel terrible about himself as a man. It is irrelevant that you think penis size is not important just like it would be irrelevant if he thinks you being hot is unimportant.

Now do you see?

[MCheetah]

The issue is the double standards.

If a guy says he likes certain breast or body sizes, the women who he excluded get offended by that and chew him out. But women don't hold the same standards for themselves, which is bullsh*t. Not that I am saying men or women NEED to prefer body types they don't like; but rather, women shame men for their preferences but then these same women don't want to get shamed for their own preferences. No one should be shaming anyone for their physical preferences in the opposite sex, however.

Also, girls are picky and entitled AF. Guys prefer women of ALL different body types, even if some guys only have a few they like. But almost all girls only want the same type of dude: Tall, dark, handsome, athletically fit, and well hung.

You almost NEVER see a woman say "I prefer a man my height or shorter than me." Or "I prefer a man with a fat ol' dad bod!" Though some of these women DO exist, they're like 1-4% of the hetero female population, if that.

Also, this is complete bullsh*t, too:
"Some girls like big penises and some prefer smaller sizes."

NAH!

"I gave him an honest, polite answer and he abused me."
He probably felt hurt or abused. You did nothing wrong here, however, neither did he. I'd have probably felt hurt and ashamed to if a woman said that to me for the first time. I'm used to it, though. I'm only six and a half down there, which is why performing oral on her is the only thing I do! 😂

[Cherry234]

They don't like being rejected over something they can't control. It's the same thing with height. That's why they feel that way. They're going to be upset about it but they shouldn't take it out on other people. It's your right to date whoever you want. Just try to ignore the guys who give you a hard time about it like how that guy was talking to you

[Cherry234]

@Asker That guy sounds like an asshole to me

[MrReliable12]

Ain’t that the truth

[Asker]

The annoying thing is that I didn't even reject him. I mean it wasn't a hookup. I'm looking for long term at the moment and there's way more to life than dick size and there are so many ways to have a good sex life. But the way he snapped so easily gave me an insight into his character I guess.

[Cherry234]

Yeah sounds like he doesn't have very good character

[MrReliable12]

Honestly I don’t know why guys are so insecure about their dicks. They are just dicks

[Cherry234]

@MrReliable12 They think that if a woman has a preference for dick size then somehow they think they're not good enough for that woman or they don't measure up if her preference excludes them

[MrReliable12]

Well that’s fucked. I have 6 inches and I know that some women want a bigger cock and that’s cool. She has her preference. I lot of women like 6 inches so I’m not complaining 😂

[Asker]

@MrReliable12 you know in a proper long term relationship each partner does stuff to please the other person. For example, in addition to sex why couldn't a guy eat me out while filling me up with a good size dildo. All I'm saying is that there are so many ways to have fun as a couple.

[MrReliable12]

I would do anything to please my partner. I do a good job at making her cum with my mouth or fingers anyways. I would use toys if she wanted me to. Do you use toys?

[MrReliable12]

@cherry234 what about you?

[Cherry234]

@MrReliable12 I'm not experienced with sex

[MrReliable12]

That’s cool. Can you message me?

[Shamiah02]

Some men are taught the size of the dick makes them more of a man.
So when we say a bigger size feels better.
These men's mind say she just said I'm not man enough for her.🥴

[PenkWing]

Well, nobody likes to be rejected because of something they can’t control. Preferences are seen are shallow (and they often are). But people often confuse fetishes and preferences, though. What they call a preference is often just a habit thing. Like, they think they only like thin women because they’re used to see those bodies sexualized more often. A fetish is something that’s beyond your control. Size queens often have some kind of fetish, be it for the appearance of a big cock, or the feeling of it.

[Shortman70]

I think it's because we aren't as picky as we lead on sometimes. I don't have any preferences on women, except for age. Anything over 18 would be more than a preference I guess, it's mandatory. After that I enjoy looking at them and I would enjoy being with them if I wasn't already married to an extremely beautiful woman. I am infatuated with the female body. So when you reveal that you mite not worship his penis, he gets defensive and lashes out mostly out of instinct. Thinking that you mite not choose him, cause he knows that it doesn't measure up, that he's make out like he doesn't want you and his ego is still intact. We are suppose to be the hunters, thinking that if we are interested in you, you should be satisfied that we chose you and be happy with what you get. I've been with women that I knew they preferred bigger cocks but that just made me work harder to make sure that you didn't leave hungry. And maybe he's been humiliated in bed by a woman or women cause he has something below average and is compensating for that. Hopefully you would still give him a chance, if he was a nice guy, even though he didn't plow the garden as deep as you liked. But I think by your description, he has burned that bridge.

[OlderAndWiser]

Some guys are insecure about their dick size just like some girls are insecure about their boobs or their ass. Why? It doesn't matter why; that's just the way it is.

[Tyrael]

It's a two way street. Guys get a lot of shit for saying they don't date a fat girl for example. It's along the lines of height, a lot of girls only want guys over 6ft tall which guys have no control over. Just like the size of their penis.

[devilman666]

Some guys are insecure about their penis, some women are insecure about their tits, some girls are insecure about their weight, some men are insecure about their baldness. Why do we have to shame people for being insecure?

[Daftlad88]

I was the same when I first got with the wife years ago now because she had told me that she had sex with a lad she had meet online and he had a 11inx cock on him and to be fair I am not that big I am a good size and once she told me that for the first couple of times that we had sex I kept thinking Is she enjoying it with me or not but she hasn't ever said anything about it to me

[Bobsyoruncle]

You wrote:

... But then if I say I prefer the feel of a bigger dick around the 7-8in size they go all weird and insecure.
Why?

Well, I don’t know whether or not they’re ‘weird’, but they’re CLEARLY ‘insecure’.

If you said something like that to *me* I’d probably ejaculate in my pants.

MY penis is only 4 1/2” long and I have absolutely NO illusions about being able to compete heads up with a guy whose penis is twice that long.

The *best* deal that I’ve ever been able to manage for myself in this life has been to be allowed to WATCH my wife or girlfriend accommodate an adequately sized penis swinging to and fro between some OTHER guy’s legs and *maybe* be treated to some sloppy seconds if I behaved myself, lol!

Enjoy yourself, and treat yourself to an 8” penis every damn chance you get.

You’ll only go around once in life and I’m fairly sure that you won’t be laying there on your death bed someday wishing that you’d given more pity fucks to insecure guys with dinky dicks!

[Spookydood]

Most aren't going to live up to that preference. Like if i were to bring up a body preference with a girl who didn't fit that, she might feel slighted knowing she isn't within my ideal. Guys are particularly sensitive about genital size, it's a common discussion.

[spartan55]

I think you make a good point here.

[Lionman95]

Because most guys have watched porn nowadays before dating.
Having a small dick myself I learned through porn and dating that 2 out of 10 girls at best are good with me having a small dick.
Because we guys don´t have a strong self-confidence we try to estimate our chances with certain women.
I for example never try to ask out the beautiful women because I don´t think they would take me seriously after having seen me naked for the first time.

[MotorcycleMan]

Same reason women are.

[jshm2]

They aren't.

They are just viewing you as possible trash that will jump ship at the first opportunity.

[AviatorTom]

Simple... theirs isn't so large, and it feels like a competition. Guys like to be competitive, but not when it comes to sex.

[Dargil]

Are we?

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I think penis size all got to do with the blood flow that goes to it
some penis are smaller cause men lack the blood flow that goes
to it, there is a treatment to help this without pills, injections, etc.

[Phoenix98]

Ok just for the sake of the question lets compare it to a comparable body part how would you feel if a guy you were having sex with said he preferred a tighter pussy then your looser one?

Now do I think the guy you were talking to needed to be a dick about it? No he did ask the question and you shouldn't ask a question if you aren't prepared for an answer you might not like.

Some people are insecure about those things and some don't care, just life.

[CasaNorba]

I'm not insecure about that at all. in fact I love women who are honest.

but you sure you're not shaming those guys who are below "7-8 inches?" cause every cause has an effect

[rcljr]

Well, most men, black white Native, Asian Hispanic have an average penis, the average is just under 5-1/2 inches.

[PuNishant]

Sorry I prefer beautiful women.

[JHAYES317]

Because we can’t change the size of our penis. Or our height. Or how much Jaír we have. Y’all can hop on the treadmill and burn off that Burger King you stress ate last night. Also I guarantee you, far less guys wouldn’t date a girl due to having small boobs than there are girls who wouldn’t date a guy with a 3 in dick.