Why do people have sex without a condom?

[likelyOK]

So I was recently having sex with a doctor I have been seeing and he asked me if I was on BC and I said no and let's use a condom. Here's the thing I don't just "hookup" and I still religiously use condoms bc I'm terrified of getting an STD. I lectured him and said "what about diseases...: also what if I was a lying women trying to "trap u" you are just going to take someone's word that they are on the pill?"
His reply was that he still pulls out and that he thinks the only disease that is a big deal anyways is AIDS.
I think this is a TERRIBLE PHILOSOPHY what's your take?

[OlderAndWiser]

1. "I still religiously use condoms bc I'm terrified of getting an STD.". I've attended thousands of religious services for many different denominations and once never seen condoms used in any of them.

2. "His reply was that he still pulls out. . .". Relying on the withdrawal method for birth control of horribly, horribly stupid. He is a doctor of what? Art history?


3. "he thinks the only disease that is a big deal anyways is AIDS.". Well, herpes is a mofo. So is HPV.


The problem with condoms is that the sensation for a guy is greatly decreased. Think of a blind guy trying to read Braille wearing leather gloves.


I rarely use condoms but I also don't engage in casual sex. The last several relationships I have had involved both of us being tested for STD's before we got between the sheets.


So that's why some guys don't want to wear condoms.

[likelyOK]

Religiously is used as an adverb mean , never going without, it does not have any religious connotations. He is a 1st year Resident specializing In anastelogy. I agree I brought up. herpes and he was like I read after the first year people only have one break out a year.

[OlderAndWiser]

Yeah, I know what you meant about "religiously," but it's weird to see someone say they religiously use condoms. He's just telling you what he thinks will convince you to go barebacked because it feels better. Next week, tell him that you took a home pregnancy test and it was positive and watch the expression on his face.

[likelyOK]

Religiously clean the bathroom religiously lock the door religiously use condoms no different get over it

[TonyV]

That is a terrible philosophy, aids kills and herpes is with you for life. I belie e all others are curable but that dont make me ok with catching them.

I dont trust woman to not trap me so I would never put that much faith in the pull out. What if she holds me in like raps her legs around me.

Some guys say they loose a lot of feeling with it on, well tuff shit. Make then wear it, and if they take it off during I'd call the cops, that's rape as far as I'm concerned cause you did not consent to raw. Well maybe make sure it wasn't an honest accident, but I'm sure they would notice if it came off.

he's an idiot, and frankly I'm not convinced he's a doctor if he didn't mention or know that herpes isn't curable, its treatable but you will have it for ever and its gross and most people won't risk catching it just to sleep with you.

[TonyV]

Update Yeah he's just an idiot, are sure he's a doctor?

[likelyOK]

Oh he is I have been seeing him since he was in medical school and he works down the street from where he works, his says his education makes them think that other than Aids the other ones are not a that big of a deal and I updated the question too.

[likelyOK]

but very good answer

[TonyV]

Thank you

[kaylaS91]

... that's not even a philosophy. It's a fact that there are a multitude of STIs, not just AIDS. It's also a fact that even the usage of condoms doesn't offer 100% protection from STIs.

It's also a fact that using the withdrawal method as your only form of contraception is not that effective when it's your first time with someone new and the guy's control over holding back on when he cums is not that good.

Honestly, I'm surprised that guy you slept with is a doctor. He sounds dumb af.

[likelyOK]

We have dated on and off a while but yeah it a dumb philosophy and I guess the gave the stat of 96% effectiveness on the pull out which to me is insane bc how can you empirically test it, there is too many problems with the methodology. Also he think g. herpes is not that big a deal and to me it DEFINITELY is. I felt like a mom lecturing. But as you read the comments a lot of other people are not precautious.

[AvaW359]

Yeah... No! Doc! There are other diseases that would make you go "oh shit! Hepatitis C etc!" What a fuckin idiot! Nobody loves condoms but nobody loves a dumb fuck doctor, he needs one on both heads! Yea I am an idiot at times and then I go get tested and it is unnecessary and pretty intense stress. Cause all it takes is one time...

[likelyOK]

truth 4 real

[chrissykerdock]

it's easier to give a blowjob why should i risk getting pregnant when i can give a blowjob i'm sure a man can be quite satisfied cumming in my mouth... i get excited giving one and feel satisfied via the intimacy of giving one... and if we become boyfriend and girlfriend that's another plateau... but who needs to take birth control and/or worry about getting pregnant and becoming a single mom... when a blowjob is so much more convenient for me and i hope the man as well... ps i never had a man pass on a blowjob yet.

[tonycar]

I can understand that if you like it so much that no man has ever passed on one. I sure as hell would not

[likelyOK]

It's your choice but I don't get any pleasures from it and I don't do it unless I'm already having sex with the guy and to me it's just as far as sex, but you are right it's less risk, just not fun to me and a lot of work.

[chrissykerdock]

maybe i got used to giving blowjobs... i do enjoy them but i was in a 10 year relationship where i gave a blowjob everynight and nothing else something like 95% of the time... when giving one don't do what you can't do and maybe you'll like them more... enjoy his hard penis... enjoy his hardness for you

[likelyOK]

it's only reciprocal bc of what they do for me, basically return the oral, to be fair. I only enjoy the sex and receiving, I did not mean to be so traffic though I was mostly talking about the safety of the situation in this post.

[likelyOK]

graffic*

[tonycar]

That is whats great about people, thay are different. I have been with a girl who never went down on me but loved when i did it to her And i have had a girl who never wanted me to go down on her, she did not like it at all, but she loved to go down on me, it gave her pleasure and made her wet. So everyone is different, and that is a great thing 😃😃

[djmzes]

Simple

To have babies. Everyone knows that.

[yucychan]

He's a terrible doctor.

[DizzyDesii]

We’d be in a longterm monagamous relationship and both get tested and see the results before sex

[likelyOK]

Exactly that's a safe route

[RemoErdosain]

It's more pleasurable, but I do agree with you: The right thing to do is to wear one, even if I had unprotected sex with the only woman that I have had sex in my life, and still have to get tested just in case. I think that was a really risky thing to do, and not something I'd recommend to anyone, or to myself to do again, even. It's risking too much for nothing, really. Pleasure for a day versus a lifetime of suffering

[RemoErdosain]

His comment about dodging them by not having sex with black people sounds like utter BS to me, and yes, it's racist

[likelyOK]

right it made me feel bad for involved with him😔. I had no idea he was like this his friend group. in med school was very diversified.

[Zannika02]

I'm a bit taken back by a DOCTOR being so ignorant. So always a condom if it's not a serious relationship. Even tho I am on the pill... when im dating someone exclusive then pill and no condom bc I have built that trust and we have had that discussion...

[Quackthulu]

Because a condom is only necessary to reduce the chance of contracting a disease or getting pregnant. If you know your partner is clean, (actually know, and not just have been told) and are using another method of birth control they are redundant.

But yes, that guy you were with is clearly an idiot.

[Derekk]

As a doctor himself, he should know better and likely DOES know better. He's just capitalizing on his profession to try and manipulate you into buying his BS so he can rawdog you.

[likelyOK]

😂 I could see why you would say that but he was not trying to raw dawg me bc I told him honestly that I am not on the pill. (And that is bc I always use condoms and don't chance it). What I was saying is you should not trust a women at her word. meaning, I am telling the truth but what about the women who would lie? Also I was saying you have to worry about STDs

[Derekk]

Yeah fair enough. I'd definitely take care of my own birth control to make sure nothing like that ever happened.

[Astarlessnightsky]

Because they want to have kids.

[ChocoBrownieMonster]

it's good sex.

[Kaneki05]

Feels better and there not fully effective anyway. Just find someone you know is clean. It's not the hardest thing to do hopefully. Don't need condoms if the person is checked and clean.

[likelyOK]

But you need paperwork to be sure and they can still have sex with new people, the effective rate is high

[Kaneki05]

So you cannot get paperwork? And that's why you ask who have they had sex with recently? Do you not know how to use your own judgement and ask questions?

[likelyOK]

we did have a thorough discussion but you can't trust a man to be honest with you unless you have known like year or have friends in common to vouch for them, men and I'm sure women too can can be this way to be fair. But my experience is men can deceptive about the kind of person they really are

[Kaneki05]

Just sounds like you may have bad judgement when it comes to people not been able to tell there lying and what not. Which is something you need to improve yourself. Millions and millions of people get by having sex without stds. While yes Stds are still a major deal, People still get by with good judgement and asking for checks otherwise no one would have sex. And again condoms don't fully protect so not like that solves much if you don't know there clean. it's good to be safe but there is a point were it becomes just germaphobe over the top, Which tbh been that over Stds isn't really bad. But just means your gonna have a harder time having sex but then no one is forcing you to take it fast so really just up to you when it comes to trusting someone or not. But i know like most people i will get by without getting one just by finding people who are clean which really don't seem hard to me.

[likelyOK]

so if the person is clean but not on bc and u choose Not to use a condom then I assume you would take full responsibility if pull out failed and she got pregnant

[Kaneki05]

Thing called the pill. Which most girls i have met usually take. Otherwise yeah i would because i knowingly would get them pregnant. Or just use a condom. I never said you shouldn't us a condom at all because you would need to if she don't want to take the pill. Just said feel better without.

[likelyOK]

just for your education thought the pill can have major side effects including for myself but even if I was on it I would still use condom bc disease is my biggest concern anyways

[MikeTheBartender]

before I got my vasectomy I was very very good about using condoms. But now that I don't have to worry about babies it's not so much for a problem, the STDs you can get from normal male female sex are very very benign, unless you're doing anal. Don't get me wrong the by-the-books answer it is always best to wear a condom without doubt. But probability wise of getting HIV or hep C which are the two main ones that will kill you or very minimal if you're just doing penis to vagina sex.

[likelyOK]

While I appauld you for getting snipped, very responsible, I am not having anal. Still Hep C is VERY contagious it only take one drop of blood. Plus the one that scares me the most is genital herpes (other than the 2) which is why I'm down for casual sex even with a condom. I think a lot of men are worried more about babies like you say.

[likelyOK]

not down for casual sex*** typo

[MikeTheBartender]

Totally understandable.

[Reaperbot666]

often times condoms reduce sensitivity for the penis. so it can make it less pleasurable and enjoyable. for both men and women alike. however it is wise to use one when with. someone you don't fully trust yet.

[Agape93]

He’s an idiot :/ hiv/aids, treatment resistant gonnorhea, siphilis, hepatitis etc

[Drumlin2001]

Bareback feels better. But you're right, if casually dating you should wrap it up. If in relationship it's your choice to go bareback.

[blutwolfe]

Sex with a condom is having sex with a raincoat on, it's pointless, I was going to college for medicine so education is pointless, men are still men at the end of the day, and besides AIDS, Everything else can be cured of prevented lol so I side with him

[blutwolfe]

having a shower with a raincoat on ***

[likelyOK]

Herpes is not curable Hep C is extremely hard to treat

[blutwolfe]

I'm sorry I forgot to add that, but neither of you have herpes or HIV I'm assuming? After that I mean it's pretty clear cut, assuming trust is involved

[likelyOK]

No we don't but still

[blutwolfe]

To follow your update, I had an ex who slept with a black dude and caught something like immediately and gave it to me, it sucked

[MrMilti]

The first time I did not use a condom was when I knew I had met my future wife I wanted to have children with.

[elizamichale1]

Coz its more natural and i get to have the real feel
I hate condoms

[jspl90]

If you fuck around you use a condom if you get into a stable fuck buddy that is the only one you fucl with get tested and then drop the condom if you trust them. Simply fucking around without a condom is stupid

[likelyOK]

although a stable long term relationship not a fuck buddy, that would still be dumb, bc there is no reason to be faithful to someone who is just a f buddy

[jspl90]

Well i mean line someone you regulary fuck and you only fuck eachother by agreement

[likelyOK]

it's your choice but if it's just an agreement and you can't call them your boyfriend why would you only be with him, kinda of closes ur options

[jspl90]

Aa i mean it would only on sex without condom like if you are not looking to date a while maybe you are busy with work or other stuff that would be nice sex and company with no troubles

[likelyOK]

I just would not feel the need to be faithful to him if he is not giving me a commitment

[likelyOK]

I would need a label

[jspl90]

I mean its a specific situation you dont want to date but you still want sex so you found a nice dude who looks good and satisfies you so you simply make a agreement with him that you dont fuck other people so you get tested and drop the condom

[KatherineJ]

If you don’t have a ring, he better wrap that thing!