It's common that many men are sex focused when it comes to relationships. When the sex comes too quickly in a relationship, the motivation to get to know the person fades.
Men and women are different when it comes to sex (though I'm not saying all men or all women). The male's role, in any species, is to diversify the gene pool. Without diversity, the species dies out. This is a part of our genetic makeup. Initial arousal for males tends to come fairly easily and quickly. If a connection hasn't been made before the encounter, once he ejaculates, the first thing on a male's mind is to distance himself from the female. He has done his duty, and now it is time to move on. Unlike males, when a woman has been penetrated, she is more likely to want to hold onto what she views as a protector and provider for her potential offspring. Sex is more likely to deepen and solidify a relationship for females than for males, even if it is just in her head and unrelated to reality. Females must protect the young, while males must diversify the species. I understand this sounds very animalistic, but, though humans have more control over their choices, we are still animals genetically.
Determine if you want a relationship or a hookup. Neither is bad nor wrong, but don't head down one path when you actually want to go in the other direction. The direction you go is probably the direction you'll end up.
One thing people need to understand is that most guys (Not All) make the judgment of the person they see you like as soon as they meet you. When they meet you they are already thinking “this is the type of person I would like to have a relationship with, or just a one night stand, or just a friend”. So guys don’t really as much lose “interest” after a one night stand, it most likely means that when they met you, they already saw you as a one night stand kind of person and nothing more, sometimes the one night stand can be a testament to see if they see you as something more than just that.
Wow. Interesting answer! I heard that before, that men decide where a woman stands on the first date. But can you change your mind about the girl afterwards? Maybe you thought she was just a hook up, and then you got to know her more and realize you want date her?
Yeah, it's completely possible and I'm sure happens many times, I just feel like it doesn't really happen after the first date. It would take a couple of dates for them to start seeing them differently.
I lost interest in a guy after we had sex because he was nagging and wanting me to this, and this and so on..
It's so boring when he wants/expect you to do everything for him - depends on the situation but most of the time it's just boring to only please him.
Don't blame you @Anfin ---- sounds like he was only interested in his own pleasure and didn't care about how you feel/your needs Can I ask, do you prefer a nice, prolonged sexual foreplay session before penile penetrative sexual lovemaking?
Yes I do, sometimes a quicky can be good but for the most part I love to take time to really get into it
Occasionally a quickie can be fantastic, but like you said @Anfin I too mostly love taking time to really get into it ! PS: am following you now, hope you can follow me back 🙂
If they Lose Interest, They only Wanted One Thing. No More "Give me a Ring" Unless wanting That Again. xx
Thanks to Gag. xx
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!I don't hook up so no. As for "losing interest", they never had interest to begin with, sex is not attached to emotion for men, its a biological funciton, its a need like thirst and once you've had your fill your done and you move on. Thats why I don't understand women doing the hook up thing because they are the ones who lose out in it not the guy.
Some women can have sex with catching feelings. But yeah most of the time the hook ups are not satisfying women.
Without catching feelings, I meant.
99% of the time they do. It may not be the first time, but the more you do it the more likely you are to catch feelings. For men these are separate, he can have sex to strengthen an emotional connection and in fact this is necessary for them, but it will not create one. For women that is not the case generally speaking.
When I was a very young man, I had a few ONS/casual encounters. My interest was purely the satisfaction of lust and I did not feel particularly attracted to the girl I was with. I am not proud of the fact that I used a few women for sex but I think they only wanted casual sex, also. Now, if a woman wants to get in bed on a first date, it is possible but unlikely that I would consider her as a serious contender for a LTR partner.
I think their is some degree of "novelty" with sleeping with new people, some people thrive on that "new date" feel. I read an article once about a woman who only dates guys to a point then moves on as she gets off on that excitement
I suspect its similar for men
You can’t be 30..
Why?
It was the only thing they were after.
I'm not that way but I have dated and messed around (were just feeling and such) not to sex yet and started to get bad feelings, vibes and her personality was very negative. I didn't want anything to do with that. She had a great body and even better fake projection of who she was and I saw through her smoke screen. I left the situation but any oral or condom use. Sorry not worth my time or our time trying to make a pseudo thing work.
I had a sort of hookup and the sex was fantastic but she just couldn't hold a conversation i nred that An interesting person Someone challenging Not highly educated just able to converse
In my experience it's only increased mine. But I could see if that was all the guy wanted and was interested in, a one time hookup (ie, no real interest there to begin with).
I have never "hooked up", relationships only.
People willing to hook up show scuzzy character.
It sounds like it was the only thing they were after , happens to the best of us
Yeah, but not for that reason. Just Didn’t really have anything in common.
I think you're right about some guys, they try hard to get into a girls pants and when they succeed they move on. For me it would be a disappointment in her personality and/ir level of maturity and I'm some guys just don't like the sex.
Sorry auto correct screwed up the latter part of my message and I didn't notice it had.
That’s all they were after
It's either they had no interest in pursuing a relationship regardless or they assume "if she slept with me that easily she must have been easy for a lot of other guys". It's the assumption that you have been easy for a lot of other guys that actually turns guys off and not that you hooked up with him specifically.
Agree.
It really depends on the situation but a lot of the time after I sleep with a girl I might start picking apart flaws she has and unless I really really like her it's all about sex
Yeah, I've had that happen several times. A lot of it is the sex just not being very fulfilling. It starts with the sex not being too fulfilling, and then I usually start thinking about all the stuff I once thought was cute about her (because I want to justify my choice to pursue her) and when she starts doing that stuff again, I realize that most of it is actually pretty annoying, I was just horny. So then I'm just kinda left with the thought that I put up with a bunch of irritating shit that I shouldn't have, so I could get laid by some chick that I don't even know well enough to like as a person...
This is where I likely diverge from many. I NEVER tell someone I have sentiments towards them in order to get laid. I will tell them my thoughts of them but I will not falsely mislead them just for the sake of getting laid. If I have no interest in someone and we sleep together, they will know this is the reality going into it and this does happen. Where I have had problems is they begin to develop an emotional attachment because we are sleeping together and I do not but they express wishing for more. More I have not to give them. I don’t develop emotional binds through sex. Not even with my ex who I felt the greatest connection of my life towards - which is the only reason I ‘felt’ anything when we slept together in the first place. If I don’t feel anything towards someone before sleeping with them, sex certainly will not change this in me. So no, sleeping with someone equally will ‘not’ cause me to lose interest in someone I already have feelings towards. Sex simply does not work this way with me.
Again, I an sure I am in a small minority in this regard.
When sex with you feels like you're doing him a favor or like you owe him money that's his cue to scram before he gets trapped and becomes your walking ATM / slave for life.
Marriage is nothing but a feminist scam.
You can and you may not me, depends on you and other person and your bonding. I usually loose interest in my own friend when it's get boring, so temperoryly either I make excuse to exit or Ghost if he is messaging in messenger. But I have an another friend, we can talk for infinity 95 percent if times when we start conversation.
So, when talking about hooking up, I am perciving the word hooking up as more instant relationship other than slow and mutual trust relationship. so, It's very likely that you are going to lose interest if you spend a lot of time together. But if you like him very much. It will not be easy to lose interest for you. And you can take the relationship as far as you want.
Some guys were only interested in having another notch on their belt.
With guys like me, it means it was either bad or i saw some other part of them afterwards that i didn't like. I've got in long term relationships after having sex on the first date, so it's a blatant lie we're told that all men only one want thing.
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