Should you wait until marriage to have sex🤔?

[Anonymous]

I’m kinda torn between saving yourself for the man you marry and having fun and doing what you want.

[skylersspace]

I grew up in a religious household, and was taught that sex is the ultimate expression of one of two things: lust or love. As you do when you mature, I began to wonder what this actually meant, so here's my breakdown.

Lust is motivated by self-gratification, or a lack of discipline. Love is motivated by respect, and self control. Many try to palm off lust as love. We live in a culture that is all about getting what you want when you want it. But there are some interesting side effects.

Sex, and the emotions associated with intense romance are often compared to an intense flame. It can be used for good, but it can also be destructive.

Now it's been a while since I've read these studies, so what I say here may not be accurate, but you'll get the jist. During sex, hormones are released (in both parties) that are associated with strong relationships. It is thought that this is what encourages them to want to stay together in the event of pregnancy. But when it is a one night stand, those hormones are still there, causing a desire (rather than strengthening). It goes into more detail, and explains a great deal of the unrest I see, but I would need to find it again to brush up on those parts.

I won't stoke that flame until I am ready. If you don't feel the same, then go for it, but leave me out of it.

[needy1234_]

Beautiful!

[SenseiSeptred]

For me, my virginity was stolen all because I was intoxicated, and since then I never forgave myself for drinking that night because I was going to do the whole waiting until marriage clause for when I got into another relationship (which has not happened yet,) and since then many of my spiritual and health related abilities went away when that happened. So you see faith no matter what it is about or why, when religious texts like the Bible talk about being one with God that he gave you a gift upon birth, and that gift when it is discarded haphazardly for any reason when not in a relationship has serious repercussions to have to deal with due to what our minds do to each other. So when you have absolute faith, grit, and mastery that you develop for a long time, it gets stronger, harder to deal with from people who do not understand what the source is or don't care to know, and when you put more than a major piece of yourself into your actions it can almost consume you like it did me because of some of my acting abilities. So having fun should not become something that is detrimental to your health, and innermost being.

[needy1234_]

I suggest you save yourself till marriage, cuz when you have sex with someone you're connecting to that person physically, emotionally, and spiritually and you become one with that person. And when two people have sex, oxytocin is released, which helps bond the relationship,
When it is released during orgasm, it begins creating an emotional bond - the more sex, the greater the bond. But if you have sex outside of marriage or you constantly have sex with different people.. That's a problem... because you're giving a piece of yourself to everyone and if you do not find a way to break that soul bond.. You're going to have a problem connecting with your soul mate. At the end of the day it's absolutely beautiful to be a virgin on your marriage day so you and your partner can learn and explore in different ways.

[Dazed0N0Confused]

Personally I need to make sure we are sexually compatible. I don't want to marry someone who can't keep up or isn't willing to try new things or go the distance. Nothing is more annoying than a guy climaxing before I'm going or not making sure I reach my peak as well.
So try before you buy!

[Obtuse]

I think abstinence before marriage is a sacrifice that's ultimately designed to benefit children. Also if two people are abstinent before marriage, they'll probably be reasonably sexually compatible and both vanilla unless one started getting strange kinks and sexual ideas from the media. I think it's a hard system to enforce and a difficult set of values to live by though unless you're in a society where most people subscribe to it as well.

[Obtuse]

I think it also works better for people who get married at a younger age before their ideas of sex in its most natural and genuine form become too tainted by the media (both the likes of pornography and steamy romantic films). If they get married and ultimately have sex at too late in life, it might be a jarring disconnect between a lifetime of sexual fantasies and the real deal. It's easier to form healthy ideas of sex if we start with the actual thing earlier in life. The alternative route in my opinion that's still healthy and favors marriage, in the end, is very straightforward. It doesn't celebrate promiscuity or participate in orgies. It's not too eager to have sex, but it doesn't deliberately withhold it either. It doesn't look at women as "easy" for having sex before marriage. It just sees it as a natural part of two people getting to know each other to see if they're compatible in the long run.

[jennifer_bloom]

If you want to impress God and protect your prospects in dating - it is the wise thing to do - only 10% of virgin brides get divorced while over 50% of non-virgin brides get divorced.

[AppleBlueberry]

Wait please. Save it for the husband. It is special.

[ushagomez]

I think waiting until you are married is a big mistake. We need to experience the pleasures first and find someone with whom we are compatible.

[katjmj]

I have nothing against waiting til marriage or not. But what I would suggest instead is to not rush just for the sake of it.

[ChronicThinker]

No, that's just not necessary and it's an easy way to end up trapped in a marriage that might not be worth it.

[Grkgod12]

It really depends on the person, and how you feel about it.
Are you able to view it as " just have fun, enjoy yourself " ?
( nothing wrong with that)
Or are you feeling that you can't do it without a deeper connection?

[EmmaMary]

That simply has to be a personal choice, for me it most certainly wasn't.

[SjE78]

the thing i've learned is "try before you buy!"
if you wait until marriage and the person you meet is too big, too small, not considerate during sex or has sexual interests which do not conform to yours or your's to their's this can create a lot of difficult times in that department

sure we all can be a bit open minded but what if they or you are turned on by some sexual act which the opposite partner finds repulsive...

this will most likely end up in disappointment, sexual frustration and other issues especially if the one who has these interests and their partner isn't willing to compromise or keep an open mind and at least attempt

[slatyb]

I think this is a bad idea. How will you know if you and your fiance are secually compatible. Of course either way you need to have a lot of discussion about what you like.

[Agape93]

If that’s what you want to do

[imjustadude]

Yes, but don't hate yourself when you do it anyway.

[gingertortilla]

well i waited to have sex until marriage so its not so bad

[KillinItHard]

You waited for marriage?

[gingertortilla]

@KillinItHard yes

[KillinItHard]

Wow. That must have taken some good fuckin will power, lol. No way I could have done that.

[gingertortilla]

@KillinItHard no not really

[CandyCaneZoe]

No. You don't want until you get home to try on a shoe. You need to know if you got. If you're compatible, sexually. You both might not like the same things and that can hurt more than you realize.

[JosyJosy]

No. I see it as seeing if you are compatible there too.

[jgirl99]

Maybe not marriage, but I would recommend waiting to have sex until ur in love and 100% committed, unless ur just looking for a casual sex partner, then its a different story

[genericname85]

what's the point of waiting until marriage?

[Titanic1912]

I’m waiting until the wedding night to have sex and get wild.

[lawhawk84]

This is a personal choice. What if you marry him and he is terrible in bed? You are stuck

[Mohit093]

If you trust your partner and have feelings for him its ok to have fun but my advice is never look back after you take a decision. I mean once you do it your virginity is never coming back so give it a good thought but if you do it then don't hate yourself. Even if things go wrong between you two as a couple don't blame yourself or hate yourself. Also there is a possibility that the one for whom you are trying to save yourself might not be saving himself for you. So whatever you do never look back